Jemily and the little people

The Happy-ish Place on Earth

2010-05-25T22:04:00.020-06:00

In April, (yes, I know it is June. Let's not talk about that...) we decided to brave "The Happiest Place on Earth" for our big family trip for the year. We figured we should go to Disneyland while the girls were still young enough that everything would be "magical" and because they are currently obsessed with princesses. Dressing up as one is an everyday occurrence at our house. Jane is always Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty because they are blond like her. Allie is always Jasmine because...both like to show their belly button. I always seem to be deemed Pocohontas which I think is pretty great. She is one tough chic. Cliff diver, kayaker, and her grandma is a tree. Pretty cool. (Although, Jevan and I have a long standing argument about whether Pocohontas is, in fact, a princess. Daughter of a chief? C'mon..that SO counts).

We went with some friends who also have 2 small kids. They were smart and decided to fly. We decided to save money and drive. I actually highly recommend driving to Disneyland - we made great time, kids were happy, all went smoothly. I just don't recommend driving HOME from Disneyland. Instead, board a jet that travels somewhere around the speed of light. It was over 12 hours of torture.

Overall, the trip was great. We loved our days at Disneyland despite a few days of cold and rain. The girls had a great time and even got to eat a very overpriced dinner with the princesses. We rode the girls' favorite rides over and over, which by the way were not Peter Pan or Dumbo. Nope. Splash Mountain and Allie's favorite, Tower of Terror. What the? The girl thrives on adrenaline.

We also visited Sea World (not so impressed...I think it's because they put all their money and resources into Shamu instead of having world class aquariums like I thought they would. And I dunno, there is just something that rankles in the back of my brain when I watch the Shamu Show knowing that Shamu EATS people.)

I know travel logs are long and lame so I will just let the pictures do the rest of the talking.

Let the magic begin! (Or something.....)

The must- have picture in front of the castle. Ya know, I've been to Disneyland lots of times and I never knew you could actually go IN the castle. I thought it was all for show - which I thought was pretty lame. It's good to know they are letting Sleeping Beauty live there. Here is also one of the many places we almost lost Allie. That kinda happened A LOT.

The key to getting a cute smile from the Allie is surprise. Fear and surprise. Fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the pope. (Monty Python anyone?)

Meanwhile Jane always hams it up. They are both quite cute if I do say so myself!

Dad and Jane riding Dumbo.

Yay for Dumbo!

The girls were more excited for this visit with Tigger than for just about anything else. Allie was positively giddy. It was really cute.

In addition to fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and a fanatical devotion to the pope, tickles form Dad will also get Allie to smile.

And at about 5:00 the girls zonked out. Which was perfect considering we had our dinner with the Princesses at 6:30!!!

In this picture, the recently awakened but still exhausted girls are trying their best to be happy...

... whereas here they make no such effort. Truly the happiest place on earth. I think Jane is particularly unhappy because Jevan woke her up from her nap and took her on the Grizzly River Run and got her soaked.

Ahh, the "Princess" Dinner. Never have the girls tasted such expensive macaroni and cheese. Nor will they again.

The girls really did get a kick out of giving each of the princesses a hug. It was cute to see them flip when they came up to the table.

She may have a dress like Belle on, but she was freaky. But not nearly as freaky as some of the other "Princesses". For example...

Meet Snow White! She enjoys cooking and cleaning for small men, long walks in the forest, and occasionally murders potential mates with an ice pick. But if you think SHE'S scary...

Jevan was (and still is) convinced that Ariel was either a robot or a giant cockroach alien hiding in a human's skin like the thing from Men In Black. She was truly terrifying. Not sure if they cast these roles based upon the individual's potential for violent crime but it certainly seemed like it.

Sea World! Gotta love the tide pools. Playing with sea creatures is always fun.

Flamingos!

Allie has started this thing of putting her hands over her ears whenever a) there is something scary on TV or outside, or b) when she is being scolded. In this picture we were walking through a tunnel with sharks swimming above and there was some scary music playing.

Our little Allie actually nearly managed to jump into the seal pen at one point.

Unfortunately, the day we decided to go to the beach it was cold with gale-force winds. But hey, how can you not have fun at a beach? There is just nothing better than lots of sand and seashells to discover.

Jane got a little bit wet so needed to be covered with her towel to stay warm.

Jevan spent the day at the beach in his fleece.

Matt and Jen did as well. But we made it to the beach, dangit!

We sat through one of the parades and the girls got to go and dance with Buzz and Woody.

The girls with Tinkerbell and her vaguely effeminate brown-clad "friend". Jevan called him a "Mairy".

Yay for the Peter Pants ride! Note: calling it "Peter Pants" made Jane quite upset.

Jevan dropped me off in St. George on the way home to go hiking and ride bikes with some of the women from my neighborhood. It was nice to go from a week of non-stop family time to some girl time with friends. All in all it was a fabulous vacation!

Happy Birthday to the Allie-Cat

2010-03-21T14:10:00.009-06:00

Allison got a little older this month. It will now be a bit more believable when I tell people her age. Now I can say "3" and maybe only the occasional person will say, "Really? But she's so big!!", like I got day in and day out when I used to tell people she was 2. Yes, yes, she ain't a short kid. But let's not go giving her a Jolly Green Giant complex or anything, okay? Now that she is 3, maybe she is starting to fit into her body a little more.

So in keeping with tradition and to give a little tribute to Allison, here is the top 10 things I love about Allison. Really there are 4 kajillion, buhbillion and ten (Jane's favorite number) but that might just be a wee too much for one post (plus, how many is that, I wonder?).

TOP 10 THINGS WE LOVE ABOUT ALLISON

1. Her funny little scrunched up smile and mischievous laugh.

Allie at one year old.

2. Her sense of daring. Nothing is too scary, too fast or too deep. This can be seen as a good thing or as a certain death wish. It is a true adventure to take this child swimming. Diving boards, waterslides...these are no obstacles...just continual ways to make her mother stress out. She is also pretty low drama when it comes to pain. Last month I took her sledding and she took a spill that ended in a gushing head wound. She cried for a minute and then became fascinated by the "red paint". She only started to cry again when I told her I had to take her to the car to get her cleaned up instead of taking her back to the sledding hill. We had to take her to urgent care and they super-glued her back together. (I know, super glue? The stuff really works though.) She was a trooper.

3. The fact that she named her favorite stuffed animal puppy "Perrito". (She is OBSESSED with Dora the Explorer right now). The great thing is that she has a tough time saying perrito so it sounds like "burrito". Who wouldn't want a puppy named after mexican food?

4. The way she snuggles into me when she's tired (and it takes a lot to do that). I have had to wait years for this child to snuggle. I will gladly take all of it I can get.

Allie at 5 months.

5. That she potty trained herself! Really, I tried for a few weeks to get her to use the potty - she would use it, but then if I didn't ask her if she had to go every 5 minutes, we would have accidents. It was a bit of a nightmare. Finally, I told her I had given up and we were back to pull-ups. A week or so later, she asked for one last chance with her underwear and has never looked back. Yay! For the first time in 4 years, there are no diapers in our house.

6. That she thinks her "real" name is Allison Wonderland. She gets mad if you tell her what her real last name is. I'm with her. Wonderland is much, much cooler.

Allison Wonderland

7. Her funny little brain. I would love to know what goes on up there. She is in her own little world so much that I figure it must be something pretty good. This also makes her the world's best dawdler (is that a word)? You ask her to do something as simple as to go put on some socks and it MIGHT get done next Thursday. I think it's funny and maddening at the same time.

8. Her outgoing personality. Allie really fears no one. She will walk up to anyone and ask them their name. That's about as far as the conversation goes, but she is not shy. Again, this can be good and bad in that she has no problem telling anyone her mind, and also has no problem with "stranger danger".

9. The way she can be going 90 miles an hour and then sit down and "read" her favorite books quietly to herself for a good half hour. She is a crazy busy kid, but she can focus when she wants to.

10. Her big heart. Allie is so loving and is always asking if I'm okay. She loves to give bear hugs and slobbery kisses. I know she loves her older sister. Although they fight a lot, you can also find her happily tagging after Jane where ever she goes.

Allison is a source of great happiness in our lives. She makes us laugh, makes us wonder, makes us slow down and just enjoy the journey. We love you Allie!

BIRTHDAY PICS:

For her birthday, we took Allie, along with her cousins, to the Kamas Pool to go swimming. After, we had pizza and cake. It was a grand time. Here are some pictures.

Allie opening her dress ups and jewelry from her grandma and grandpa.

Pizza with cousins.

My lowly cake decorating skills...the "Allie Cat" cake.

Allie in her new birthday hat from her aunt...with pizza all over her face...

An irresponsible post

2010-01-28T11:30:00.020-07:00

I had a choice for what to do tonight: finish my taxes or blog. It proved to be an interesting conundrum. However, the guilt for not having posted since Thanksgiving finally overcame the inevitability of the taxman and I decided to do the irresponsible, more fun thing. Besides, one of my coworkers, a notorious blog stalker (Hi Caplan!) told me she needed something to read during one of the otherwise boring meetings she gets to attend.

So we kinda skipped December. You might recall, but Christmas and New Years happened at some point in there. Not going to rehash it too much, but suffice it to say it was lovely. The most notable thing that happened was I surprised Em with a trip to Cancun with my sister and her husband. This irresponsible post is going to be mostly dedicated to some highlights of that trip.

But before we even get to Cancun, let's start with the drama that preceded it. My sister, Becca, started feeling sick a few days before we were to leave. Not the "I have a runny nose and a head cold" sick, but the "FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY I THINK THERE IS A BOULDER LODGED IN MY GALL BLADDER". Yup, she had a major gall stone. For those of you that don't know (and I was in this camp prior to this event), the gall bladder is

"a hollow organ that sits in a concavity of the liver known as the gallbladder fossa. In adults, the gallbladder measures approximately 8 cm in length and 4 cm in diameter when fully distended.[2] It is divided into three sections: fundus, body, and neck. The neck tapers and connects to the biliary tree via the cystic duct, which then joins the common hepatic duct to become the common bile duct."

Lovely, yes? Here's a picture:

It doesn't look all that important...

So, feeling not so well and worried about the upcoming vacation, she decided to try a few homeopathic treatments (read: witch doctor remedies) for gall stones. While I don't have a complete list, I think this consisted of:
1) Chugging olive oil and lemon juice.
2) Drinking kiwi-strawberry Kool-Aid through a straw, upside down while whistling Dixie. Note: This is even harder than it sounds.
3) Sacrificing virgin chickens to a pagan deity.

Sadly, none of these things worked. Come Tuesday night, she was in excruciating pain and couldn't down her oil'n'kool-aid cocktail. It was thus decided that she would head to the doctor the next day.

Once there, the doctor immediately decided that the strange little organ needed to be removed, a process that is known as a hepaticocholangiocholecystenterostomy. Ok maybe not exactly, but that's a really long word. You would think that something with a name that long would have a really long recovery time, but you would be wrong. The surgery is out-patient, and the doctor informed Becca that she could either rest and recover at home with 4 young children, or do it on the beach in Cancun. No-brainer, right?

After a successful hepaticocholangiocholecystenterostomy that afternoon, we headed to the airport early the next morning (yes, less than 12 hours after surgery, Becca was on a plane). Please note that if you ever have the occasion to travel with a person in a wheelchair, provided you are not the person in the wheelchair, it is a pretty sweet deal. We breezed through security and, once in Mexico, customs. It was pretty fantastic. Of course, there is the minor detail of Becca sitting in the back of the plane, drugged up and in excruciating pain, but if I had the choice, I would have her do it again.

Renting a car proved to take about as long as the flight from Salt Lake. This is one interesting thing about Cancun - everyone is constantly trying to sell you on a timeshare presentation of some sort. If you go to get some Advil from the pharmacy, they try to get you to take a sunset cruise or go snorkeling. When buying a taco from a street vendor you're likely to be pitched on a once-in-a-lifetime deal for a timeshare. So, after the rental car company spent at least an hour "cleaning" the car (which really means stalling until we bought the tickets to the outdoor adventure park), we finally headed out to our hotel. Here are a few highlights from the trip:

- Steve (Becca's husband who speaks Spanish and is 3/7ths Mexican) and I went golfing the second day we were there. While golfing, we caught up with an older couple that was playing super slow. We passed them, but later on in the round they came riding up to pass us, obviously done for the day. They were probably in their mid to late 60s, and looked like they had come right from a Grateful Dead concert. We asked them where they were headed, and he said they were heading for the bar. Except when he said it every other word was the f-bomb. So they rode off to the bar and we kept playing. About a half-hour later, we were teeing off and saw a cart way off in the distance. I thought it was a maintenance worker, but it turned out it was Capt. Salty and his wife. I asked why they weren't at the bar and he simply replied "Because we were smoking a joint!" with the requisite colorful adjectives. After declining his offer to roll us one, they rode off, giggling. I kinda like that retirement plan.

Playing Shanghai in our very own own Cabana.

- One morning we woke up to the sound of 20 ambulances screaming up and down the road outside the hotel. Looking outside the window, I saw that there were some bleachers that had been set up for a group picture for a company that was having a conference at the hotel. The top row of the bleachers was a good 15 feet off the ground. While taking the picture, the bleachers either just collapsed (entirely possible) or were rammed by the car that was sitting conspicuously next to the mangled bleachers with its hood dented in (more likely). Whatever the cause, a good many Unilever employees were taken to the hospital.

While leaving to head into town that morning, we passed a reporter and her cameraman milling about the scene. Steve leaned out the window while passing them and yelled out in gringo Spanish "We saw the whole thing happen, do you want an interview?" The reporter ran toward us so fast that her cameraman nearly fell over, but by the time she got to the car Steve had gunned the engine and sped off down the road, laughing maniacally. The reporter was crestfallen, her exclusive scoop turning out to be pretty much the comedic equivalent of "Made you look!".

- We had dinner at a restaurant that served Mayan food one night. Fortunately the staff was not Mayan, because otherwise we would not have been able to communicate with them because apparently they couldn't speak (ask Becca about this). The menus did however have some words and phrases in Mayan. Typically, when you are given a primer in another language on a menu, you could expect to find words or phrases like

"Hello!"
"Thank you."
"My name is ___"
"I would like a ___"

On this menu, you could find the following:

Ak - Dwarf
Al bo'ol - Cheating at payment
Bix - String Bean
Chakay - Sea lobster
Chak op - Bald
Etyum - Godfather

and my personal favorites for sheer randomness

Haha che-eh - Guffaw
T'uubul k'iin - Solar event

Pretty much all the words you need to order food at a restaurant. Provided you wanted to eat a your godfather, the bald sea lobster.

As far as phrases went, you could learn to say

'Bahun a hantantik ma'a hanal' (Why do you eat what is not yours?) or 'Tulacal baal yan tat, he baax a kat a hante; xectaba' (We have everything sir, whatever you want to eat, please sit).

Honestly, they couldn't even just put normal numbers on the menu. You can learn to say 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 15, 22, and 90. Truly beyond random, but it was amusing to call Em a dwarf and my little stringbean during dinner.

Bin k'iin, bo'ol chakay. Nak' lip'chi' kex. Et ok ak exex haha che'eh hach ah tus kanan way hanal kan.

Use this to translate the above caption.

- We wanted to go to see some ruins, but took a recommendation from my cousin to go see Ek Balaam rather than Chitzen Itza, as it is much less touristy. It was a great recommendation and we spent the better part of the morning cavorting in the ruins. (For reference, you cannot actually visit ruins unless you cavort. It's just not right.)

Note: do NOT attempt to use a tripod here. At least 15 Mexicans who were previously sitting around a table playing cards while people were spray painting on the ruins will run at you with guns drawn if you attempt to use it.

View from the top of the pyramid with our friend Snakeeyes the Canadian.

I'm not going to lie - I was hoping Indian Jones was going to come running out of one of these buildings.

I had no idea the Mayans could speak or used picket fences.

I'm fairly certain that this is nature's equivalent of a "Trespassers will be shot" sign.

- Em and I also spent a day playing on Cozumel. We rented a scooter and some snorkel gear and hung out at the beach all afternoon. Truly a blissful day.

I wonder what the menu said in this restaurant. Not at all random to have a Pagoda in the middle of a tiny Mexican town.

We came home to the thick inversion soup that we had last month and were immediately immersed back into the day-to-day circus that we call our life.

Finally, I'll leave you with a couple of funny Jane stories:

- Em, in an ever-escalating war to create the weirdest cakes for birthdays (we've had pandas and hippos so far), created a golf cake for me, complete with a dimpled golf ball and an Oreo hole. Jane, having helped make the cake, was quite aware of all that went into its creation. After getting her piece of the cake, she took a bite, then looked at Em and said 'Mom, when I was looking at the cake I thought it was going to be a 3, but after eating it I think it's definitely a 68.'

Fore... out of 10.

- Having just finished her bath, Jane came up to me in her towel and earnestly said 'Dad, why can't I chop off all of my fingers?' Ummm... because?

Allie really is smiling here. I am not kidding. We have to work on it.

In Desperation....

2009-12-01T00:11:00.004-07:00

Happy belated Thanksgiving. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I will tell you what we are all thankful for. Jane is thankful for her cinderella flashlight. Allie is thankful for corn. (We know this because she either blesses or expresses gratitude for "the corn" in EVERY prayer, not just at dinner. I have no idea what is up with the corn.) Jevan is thankful for sleep because that is what he is doing right now. And I am grateful for a husband who willingly, if not enthusiastically will submit himself to this:

Yes, tonight we had a Tea Party Dinner.

Before you go thinking to yourself, "Here we go again with another one of those look-at-my-oh-so-cute-and-perfect-life stories", know this. This was out of sheer desperation. This was one of those times when you call your husband at 6:00 and your stomach drops when you can still hear office noises in the background. "You haven't left yet?" Yikes. And he still has a 50 minute drive ahead of him. (I know, we made our bed and now we have to sleep in it, right?) AND, your kids are about to kill each other. Dinner is almost done, the movie you put in to save your sanity is over, and so what do you do? Throw a tea party. Getting dressed up and and the table set burns up LOTS of extra time. Sheer desperation. But amusing in the end so I had to take a picture.

Also, I would recommend these tea party dinners as an excellent dieting tool. Tiny plates equal great portion control.

Oh, and not more than 20 minutes after it is all over, Jane throws herself a mighty tantrum. Does anyone else have a four year old that is 85% wonderful and 15% possessed by demons? I mean raging demons. She literally turns on a dime, too. And usually in front of the neighbor we have just met.

A Rite of Passage and A Giraffe in Trouble

2009-11-16T23:08:00.003-07:00

So there comes a time in every small child's life where they must experiment with scissors...and hair. Some just cut the hair of their favorite doll or My Little Pony. Some cut their real hair. Like mine did. On Saturday. The day before the primary program and 2 days before her first day of preschool in her new hometown. Yup. Jane chopped her hair.

She was very practical about it. She was genuinely confused at our shock and mild anger about what she had done. She said that some of her hair kept falling in her face that morning and so she just cut the darned hair off. Problem solved. Jane is very much like that, for the most part. See the problem, solve it. Like this summer when we went to the swimming pool and the life guard told her she couldn't jump off the diving board until she could jump in and swim to the side unaided. So, she came down off the board, grabbed my hand and told me I needed to teach her to swim. She practiced all afternoon and wouldn't give up until she could swim/doggie paddle to the side. Then, with her determined and triumphant little face, went off the diving board and with her mother's heart pounding, made it, in a desperate flailing of limbs, to the side.

Wow. Tangent. Anyway, here is the damage. Jev and I decided it was a rite of passage to becoming a true little kid. Everyone has their stories.

On a side note, my sister-in-law reminded me today of a funny episode last week as well. We went with her and her kids to Bean Museum in Provo, which is basically a huge gallery of dead, stuffed things. Think of the best hunting lodge you have been to with the moose heads on the wall and quadruple it.... and add animals from every continent you can think of. Quite fascinating really. Above the stairs, leading to the 2nd floor, they had mounted almost the entire front half of a giraffe on the wall. Allie saw the giraffe and was instantly convinced it was stuck in the wall. She desperately kept asking me to help it. When i didn't come down to pull it out of it's brick prison, she began to encourage it to help itself. "C'mon giraffe. You can do it." Then she would grunt to show it the proper sound effects to use when extricating itself from the wall. She pleaded for a long time with giraffe, urging it to liberate itself, or calling me to lend a hand, but there was just no budging the silly giraffe. She finally gave up but talked about it for days to come. Maybe you just had to be there, but it was so stinkin' funny.

Huh. Random post but here it is all the same.

La La Land

2009-11-02T00:45:00.007-07:00

So I thought I would make it official. We did it. We moved. We bought a house in Heber. And yes, Jevan still works in Salt Lake - he commutes. My environmental studies teachers/friends would be so disappointed in me. He doesn't even commute in some sort of hybrid vehicle. I am SO hypocritical....but I can't help myself...I'm blinded by love.

I think I have been dreaming of living here since we've been married but I didn't think it would really happen. Whenever I would talk about it, Jevan would refer to it as my "La La Land." Well, La La Land, here I am. Here I get the Heber Creeper, Dairy Keen (not Queen mind you...it has the best shakes anywhere...and the greatest kids meal prizes ever), the Demolition Derby, the Cowboy Poetry Festival (what rhymes with yeehaw?) and the National Sheepdog Championships. Mostly though, it's just really pretty here. With the backdrop of Mt. Timpanogos and the areas of open pasture, I get this sensation every time I drive over the last hill and into the valley - a combination of relief, peace and belonging. I guess I really never have been a city person. And the best part? My city-slicker husband loves it too.

So, because people said they were curious, here's our new house. Come visit us some time. We'll rustle you up some grub and maybe even recite a cowboy poem or two.

Halloween Top 5

2009-11-01T23:40:00.005-07:00

Top 5 favorite things of Halloween this year:

1. The fact that my second child isn't old enough to care that she is wearing her sister's costume from last year. Also, that if anyone tried to call her Alice she would yell "No! I Awwison (Allison) Wonder-and!" Get it right, people.

2. That the girls only lasted about 20 minutes trick-or-treating before they got too cold and wanted to go in. That made their stash of candy pretty small, and they were perfectly content to answer the door. Jane would fawn over everyone's costumes and Allie would yell "Oh! They're here!" EVERY time the door would ring. As if some long lost relatives finally made it to our house.

3. That our doorbell never stopped ringing. We went through 3 of the giant bags of candy that you buy at Costco. That's over 450 kids. It was basically a stampede of sugar-crazed little people running around the neighborhood.

4. That Halloween to a sugar addict (like myself) is like October Fest to an alcoholic. I might have stashed away a few Kit Kats as the candy started running low...just maybe....

5. That I have a brother-in-law who is the spitting image of Napolean Dynamite when in costume. It was definitely scary....and hilarious.

I love fall

2009-10-18T21:04:00.005-06:00

Who doesn't love this time of year? The air is cool and crisp and the world is full of color. For some reason, I have felt this need to soak up every last bit of the autumn colors this year. I think I have dragged my family up the canyon almost every other day. You'd think it was my last season on earth or something. I don't know why I have been so obsessive about it, but I have. I try to capture it on camera but it is never really the same. Cameras just don't catch how vivid the colors are in real life.

Anyway, here is what I have to show for it.

Happy Fall !!

Family Update

2009-10-13T20:50:00.002-06:00

Fall is finally here and it is about time I write another family update.

It has been a wild ride of a summer. We have had a lot of fun vacations, as all the other posts show. It has also been a difficult past few months because we have had to make a lot of big decisions - the biggest being where we wanted to buy a house. It has been quite the process. We couldn't decide if we should live nearby downtown (sugar house area) or in Heber. I have always wanted to live there - for the beauty and recreation, but I also felt strongly that it would be a good place to raise kids. I guess. I hope. We started looking both down in the valley and in Heber, but we ended out finding a house we really liked in Heber, going for a really good price. We spent lots and lots of nights up talking about it, trying to decide if moving to Heber was a good idea. Jevan would have a long commute, and we would have to do a lot more driving. And gas isn't cheap right now.

After agonizing over it for days, we put an offer in on the Heber house. It is a short sale, so it has been a roller coaster ride trying to get it. At first, it was a bit of a miracle how smoothly it went. Our realtor kept saying over and over "You must be living right" because usually short sales "so frequently end in sorrow and heartbreak." (yes, he did actually say that :) ) But then the appraisal came back even lower than we were offering for it so either us, the seller or the bank had to take an even bigger hit. Everyone was mad and it was looking like we weren't going to get the house. Then the bank came back and said we all had to give a little. So again, we agonized over the decision, but ended up agreeing to go ahead with the deal.

So that is where we sit now. We close in a week. I am excited and apprehensive at the same time. I have yet to feel that peaceful confirmation that we have made the right decision. I hope it comes at some point. I hope I fit into my new neighborhood. I hope we like living in Heber.

We also made the decision to send Jevan back to school for his MBA. Unfortunately we made the decision a little late, and now, if he goes to the U of U, he will have to wait until next fall to start the program. But we feel like it is the right step for him to make, especially because his current employer will help pay for it.

I guess this has to be a short post because there is trouble brewin' in the other room with the little ones. It will be strange not living with my parents in the basement. It has been so fun to have my parents around all the time to talk to. I can't believe how many nights my mom and I have stayed up WAY too late talking. I love you, Mom and Dad! Thanks for letting us live with you!!

What Do Monsters Look Like?

2009-10-12T22:05:00.001-06:00

So the other day, my sister-in-law came over to my parent's house (where we STILL currently live...but not for long...) with a surprise for Jane and Allie. She sits her down on the couch, whips out a book and starts reading. The book is darling and when I ask her who wrote it, she casually says "Oh..I got my children's book published." What the? She then launches into a story about how the book came to be, the process stretching over years, all starting with her little boy's fears of monsters under the bed. I was in awe.

So, I have to tell everyone who either has a child with a fear of monsters, or just wants a wonderful children's book, to buy this book. The premise is that the monsters under the bed are just as scared of you as you are of them. It's so stinkin' cute. You can get it off Amazon, or I can secure you a copy easily, maybe even signed by the author.

I am always so impressed with people who have a dream and see it fulfilled. Good job Amber. I want to be like you.

The Last of the Summer Adventures, Part 2: Canyoneering in Zion

2009-09-30T10:30:00.002-06:00

Typically, when packing for a vacation most people put things like suntan lotion, beach towels, swimsuits, and flip flops. Most people are not like my in-laws. I think their ancestors were Nordic (likely Vikings). Contrary to what you might have learned in school, I'm convinced that the Vikings didn't rape and pillage because of overpopulation or religious convictions, but rather because it was the most difficult thing they could possibly do for fun. It was like a Viking vacation! I can imagine a Viking dad getting his immediate family together and having a conversation like this:

Paulthor (the dad): Sons, it's time we planned next year's family vacation. What should we do?

Gregotgardill (eldest son): How about rowing a boat up a waterfall?

All: Nah, too easy.

Cliarkf (younger son): What about playing tag with the sharks again? That was fun.

All: Boooo-ring.

Jevan (brother in-law) (and yes, it is a Nordic name I'll have you know): How about we pick an activity that won't get someone killed? Remember what happened to poor Hjorvarth last year...

[Paulthor, Gregotgardill and Cliarkf share a look of disgust]

Merdonfthnus (youngest son): It's not a vacation unless someone could die or at a minimum be horribly maimed you pansy.

Reedolf (other brother in-law): Jevan, you can stay here with the children while your wife Emilfrothi comes with us!!!

[All laugh, pointing fingers at Jevan and making rude hand gestures that bring into question his masculinity, parentage, facial hair and choice of clothing]

Louifstæn (mom) to Emilfrothi: I told you he was a wiener.

Paulthor: How about this - we'll all get into a boat, row across the ocean, land on a beach somewhere, run ashore brandishing weapons and screaming, rape / pillage / plunder, then come back home!

All except Jevan: Yaay!

This is pretty much how we plan family vacations in Em's family (including the mocking of my clothing). Case in point - the family trip to Zion National Park this summer. Here is what we packed: wetsuits, suntan lotion, 3 first aid kits, a climbing harness, locking carabiners, nylon ropes, wet bags, water, and tons of trail mix / granola bars. Pretty much the kinds of things that you would pack if you were planning on running from the law for an extended period of time in the desert.

In the past, Emily has gone on this annual "Let's attempt to cheat death one more time" vacation by herself, but this year I decided that I had had enough of the rude gestures from her brothers and came with them. This is a rough breakdown of how it all went down.

Day 1:
Wake up at 5:00 AM, because no good adventure starts after sunrise. (Note: I think that, with the exception of early-morning golf, the Holy Ghost really does go to bed at 12:00AM and doesn't wake up until around 7:30 or 8:00.)
Get in the car and drive for a couple of hours.
Contemplate the number of ways you may meet your end in the upcoming hours.
Arrive at the trailhead at 7:30AM. Begin hiking.
Hike down some steep canyon terrain until you arrive at the mouth of a slot canyon.
Realize that you have survived so far and be simultaneously grateful and sad that it will take even more effort to get your corpse out in the event of an accident.
Proceed to what the guide book describe as your first 'obstacle'.
Remind yourself that an 'obstacle' is to a Tayler as 'The Grand Canyon' is to a unicyclist.
Proceed to rappel down a 20-foot cliff into a puddle of what can only be described as "37 years' worth of cow urine in mud".
Slog your way through while trying not to breathe.
Accidentally breathe.
Vow to make it the last 20 feet without breathing, or die in the attempt.
Watch your mother in-law do the same thing and feel like a total wimp.
See your mother in-law's shoes come off in the pee / mud mixture.
Try not to giggle.
Tell your wife you can't go in and help your mother in-law get out because you're filming the event for posterity.
Help your mother in-law out.
Remind your mother in-law that this is her vacation.
Catch all of the pack as they are thrown down from the top of the 'obstacle'.
Discover that, when thrown from 20 feet above you, catching a 60-pound backpack feels very similar to getting steamrolled by a blitzing linebacker.
Reassemble the group, after an hour or so of traversing the stinkhole.
Resume hiking (and breathing).
Traverse a few other 'obstacles', including one in which you have to physically drop your wife, sister in-law, niece, and mother in-law off of a cliff into a pool of water (I'm not exaggerating).
Tell your mother in-law she looks like a drowned cat.
Pretend to not notice the dirty looks you get from everyone.
Find out why it's not a good idea to hike for many hours with a mesh-lined swimsuit.
Discover first-hand the meaning of the word 'chafing'.
Learn to hike bow-legged.
Continue hiking. Start to look at all of the amazing stuff that 99% of the people that go to Zions don't see. Think to yourself that maybe the Vikings were onto something.
Realize that there's something to be said for near-death vacationing.
Emerge from the canyon at 8:30 PM battered, bruised, chafed, but whole.
Spend 27 minutes showering and using an entire bar of soap attempting to remove the 'obstacle' smell.
Remember that Day 1 was the 'easy' day.
Collapse into bed for a few hours of sleep.

Day 2:
Wake up at 6:00AM.
Pack wet suit, ropes, harness, carabiners, and food into a dry pack.
Ensure your Last Will & Testament is in order.
Drive to the trailhead.
Start hiking.
After 2 minutes, arrive at the first 'obstacle'. Or, to be more accurate, the place where you have to put on a wetsuit and swim through freezing cold and fetid water in order to get to the first obstacle.
"ON-ROPE".
Rappel down a sheer 80-foot cliff.
"OFF-ROPE".
Hike through an amazing slot canyon, going down some incredible rappels (including one into 'The Cathedral', which has to be one of the coolest things you've ever done).
Be upset that your camera's battery is nearly dead.
After numerous rappels, arrive at the last one - a 120-ft free rappel straight down into the ~~jaws of death~~ picnic spot.
Sidle up to the edge of certain death without looking down.
Look down.
Let your nephew go first.
Watch as he manages to hang on to the cliff using only his butt cheeks.
Marvel at the amazing gripping power of terrified glutes.
"ON-ROPE"
Army-ranger rappel down to the bottom.
"OFF-ROPE"
Resist the urge to kiss the ground and weep.
See your father in-law, wife, and 15 year-old niece do all of the above and ponder whether
a) you're just a wimp,
b) they're really tough,
c) they really are Vikings, or
d) all of the above
(note: the answer is d)
Hike out of the canyon, spending time playing in swimming holes rejoicing that you still have all of your limbs attached and no known organ punctures.
Enjoy a meal swapping war stories with the rest of the Vikings.

So there you have it. I survived, and found that it was one of the funnest vacations I've been on. I was proud of every scrape, bruise, contusion, and odor I got on that trip. Sign me up for the next raid!

They are all smiling. That's because none of them smell like cow pee yet.

Yeah. We walked through that. Paul actually had to get his nose about 1 inch above the water to dig out Louise's shoes.

I may have neglected to mention that we found Gollum on the trip.

Louise, my mother in-law, rappelling down into the cow pee, with Gollum watching his Precioussssss...

And we just lost a shoe.

Looking up from one of the slot canyons. Freedom seems far away right now.

The aforementioned 'Drowned Cat' pose.

Check out the scale of the canyons.

Em trying to decide which way to go.

I thought this looked really neat, with the vertical crack in the wall.

Ensign Tayler, reporting for duty. Fortunately, he was wearing a blue uniform. Had it been red he would definitely have been eaten by a monster along the way...

... like poor Hjovarlth and Magnus, who didn't make it.

Ready to swim through who knows what.

Em rappelling down into the Cathedral.

Finally getting the hang of it. And for the record, yes farmer tans help when you're canyoneering.

Coming down the last rappel.

The Last of the Summer Adventures, Part 1: The Grand Tetons and Yellowstone

2009-09-28T22:08:00.000-06:00

Sorry folks. One last family vacation post. I wanted to get it recorded before, say, Christmas..as I do rather like to procrastinate.

Once again, I think I will let the pictures do most of the talking. Here's a quick summary:
In July, I went with my young women from our old ward up to run the Snake River. For some reason, the Young Men's leader thought that since I had run rivers with my family growing up, it somehow put me in the category of river guide, and that I was capable of paddling a huge raft full of teenagers down the Snake - a river I hadn't actually ever run. Not being able to convince him that the idea scared the pants off me, (I honestly had nightmares for weeks, kids drowning, parents strangling me, even Kevin Bacon appearing out of nowhere to hunt me down (movie anyone? A River Wild. Kevin Bacon has one of those faces that completely freaks me out) I quickly invited my dad along as moral support. He was a good sport....and I made him run the rapids for me. Whew. Huge crisis averted. Jevan and the girls then drove up and picked me up in Wyoming and we set off for a weekend in the Tetons and Yellowstone.

We camped at Signal Mountain, and despite the hoards of vampire mosquitos, we had a great time. Such a beautiful place. I think the kids were impressed too. Although, if you ask Jane, the thing she remembers most was the deer with 2 broken legs (probably got hit by a car) trying to get away from a BEAR IN OUR CAMPGROUND! Luckily we were in our car, but Jane talked about it for days. Definitely disconcerting. Don't worry - the bear never got the deer - no scenes out of Wild America for us, thank goodness. Ranger Susie saved the day. (Editor's note: "Save the day" = take the wounded deer for a walk with a shotgun in tote. Not exactly a happy ending, but the bear didn't get to eat it...)

Anyway, it was all beautiful, the weather was great, and Allie only had a few breakdowns of epic proportions. No naps plus sleeping in a tent where you can roam about endlessly until you fall asleep do not a happy toddler make.

It was still REALLY fun.

Some of the daring Young Women from my old ward. They are all awesome girls and I miss them....

Starting our hike to Jenny Lake. This is also where Jane informs me that this is NOT her favorite place to hike. Her favorite place is "Warberry Alice Sunburn Valley." Oh, well then. She gets to plan the next family vacation.

Taking the picture BEFORE the hike. This is important. We have learned that even after 5 minutes into the hike, pictures with all family members present and smiling are not so...possible.

Um...taking the ferry across Jenny Lake as to make the hike significantly shorter...ah-hem. Jevan liked the 3 blond heads shot.

Making it to Hidden Falls. Definitely worth the trip.

Jane makes friends with squirrel. Apparently it likes Pringles. Don't tell Ranger Susie. Jevan's cousin Morgan told me that it looks like the squirrel is smoking a doobie. Definitely don't tell Ranger Susie that...

Playing at Jenny Lake. Here Jane informs me that if I ever wanted to buy the sky, it would cost me a million dollars. No one tell Bill Gates. At that price, he could buy the freakin' universe.

This, dear friends, is Jane's deliciously named "nun cupcake". It's a bit gritty but it just might save your soul.

Allie chillin' in the carseat...in the near-buff because she decided some swimming was in order.

YELLOWSTONE:

This is by far one of my most favorite pictures from the trip. A true Allie smile...they are really rare to catch on camera. Allie LOVES drinking fountains. She was delighted to find one just her size.

Walking around the boardwalk by Old Faithful, looking at pools and geysers. Here Jane asks me: "If Jesus fell into this pool, would he cook like a hot dog or just get baptised?" What do you say to that?

Have I mentioned Jane loves bugs? Jane loves bugs and has NO fear of them. Hence, the HUGE beetle on her arm. She let it climb all over her for a good 10 minutes.

Note the new bug friend perched on her hat. It climbed from her arm, up the side of her face and onto her hat. Note too the onlooker in the background. She watched with fear and amazement and repeatedly refused Jane's invitations for her to hold the bug.

We had to take a picture of this doomsday cloud. It was the ONLY cloud in the sky and shaped like an atomic bomb mushroom cloud? Freaky.

Playing in the river near a hot spring.Good times.

Crazy Jane in our campground. The night before we were playing the "like/hate" game. I said I really liked camping and I really hated mosquitos. Jane said she really liked marshmellows and...really hated it when a car runs over her. Right. No hit and runs, people. Jane hates that.

Like father, like daughter. No need to say more.

Today, we say a (not so) fond farewell and welcome a new addition.....

2009-09-24T08:01:00.011-06:00

Our Booger died.

I wish I could say it was with a heavy heart, but it really wasn't. It's life ended on the freeway in a swirl of smoke.

The old, heavy, stinky guy had been good to us, bless it's heart. (You know you can say something derogatory about ANYTHING, so long as you add "bless his heart" at the end, right? For instance: "That guy that just cut me off is a sorry little man....bless his heart." See? You can vent your feelings AND give him blessings....it's a total win-win.)

Yes, a few weeks ago we said a fond farewell to our Booger, our 1994 Ford Tempo, a lovely shade of turquoise-green, weighing as much as a small building and navigating the roads about as well as one too. Each door was crafted with so much metal that they threatened to crush you instantly if you didn't leap from the car and roll to safety. Trying to get out while parked on a hill was especially exciting.

So, with a loving kick to it's tires, we sent it off to the Kidney Foundation.

And then, we broke down, gave in, and bought this:

Yes, we are the proud new owners of a MINI-VAN.

This is the point where I freak out a little and wonder how in the world my life suddenly got to this stage. I truly had a mid-life crisis during the test drive. You KNOW it makes sense, you KNOW you love having a wonderful little family to putter them around in it, but you still wonder how you went from crazy, adventurous college kid to soccer mom in 2.2 seconds.

Is it just me or did any one else go through this?

At least we still have my baby, the '98 Subaru Outback. It will keep me reminded of the good ol' days.

Anyway, we're happy to have our new "certified used car" toyota sienna. There is just no beating the convenience of a mini-van. It's nice, sensible and gonna go forever and I'm going to love it..........right???

Raspberries!!

2009-09-15T23:34:00.003-06:00

Have a hankerin' for some fresh raspberries? I can tell you how to get them for $2 a pound!! My sister-in-law (who is always finding cool stuff to do) found out about this place in Payson where you can go pick your own raspberries for $2 a pound. It's amazing! We went there today. You would think it was too late in the season, but the bushes were brimming with berries. I picked off of 3 rows (out of probably 50) and got 5 pounds of berries...with a LOT left over the bushes! I could have kept picking forever but my girls, covered in red berry juice, quickly lost their fascination with picking berries and began to wander, causing trouble and losing stuff (shoes, cinderella cell phones {heaven forbid we lose that!!}) and themselves in the berry bushes.

Here is the link to their website: www.westmountainraspberries.com

Read about the company...it's kind of funny.

All in all, it's fun. And then you have lots of raspberries. Pie anyone?

TIPS:
Unless you have days to commit to berry picking, don't bring HUGE containers hoping to fill them. You'll be sorely disappointed. It's uh...kinda slow work...but very rewarding in the end!

When they say wear long sleeve shirts, take them seriously.

If you bring small children, BRING THINGS TO OCCUPY THEM. In your perfect world, you think about them happily chattering away as they contentedly pick berries by your side. If you have children like mine, that ain't gonna happen. The only thing that saved us was all the TREATS my sister-in-law packed. They were so bored they even tried to have water fights with their waterbottles. I'm telling you, bring stuff.

Jane turns 4....and very "girlish"

2009-09-13T00:43:00.015-06:00

Jane tells me all the time that she likes things that are "girlish." She has started to categorize everything that way - colors, cars, even animals. (All koala bears are boys, FYI). In fact, the other night she said that I had to tuck her in bed because she was feeling very girlish and "Dad is just too boyish." Sorry, Jev...your testosterone must have been a bit too strong that day.

So, when I asked her what she wanted to do for her 4th birthday, she informed she wanted to have a tea party, because, of course, it was a very girlish thing to do. This is all especially hard for me to swallow because I was a raging tomboy until I was....well, i dunno, I'm not sure I have really grown out of that phase. I wouldn't even wear a dress to church let alone have a "pretty princess party." (I truly threw such major tantrums over dresses that my mom actually let me wear pants to church many times. Sad, but true. Sorry Mom. I wear dresses now though so i guess that's something...). I guess I also just assumed my children would be the same way. But they come programmed from the start, huh? Jane likes everything girl, from princess dresses to "pail nolish" (nail polish) to dolls and everything that is perfectly pink. Thus, i am totally out of my element with my very "girlish" daughter.

You know how you sometimes try to hide inadequacy by overdoing it in the area for which you feel you lack? That was me with this tea party...to the point of my mother thinking I had lost all my marbles. But I have to admit...I kind of enjoyed myself. I think Jane and guests had a pretty good time too. Everyone dressed up in their finest princess dresses (except for our token male guest)and I doled out the plastic jewelry. They decorated purses, played games and had a tea party out on the patio. For reasons I still don't understand, I took the food pretty seriously and made all sorts of little fancy food...finger sandwiches, mini muffins, cheese cut into shapes, tiny fruit kabobs, chocolate covered strawberries (with drizzle no less! Who would have thought me capable of such things? No one who has ever seen me cook...)and even these mini watermelons made from a lime, red jello and mini chocolate chips. And just so you know, if you ever read in a recipe "Cut a lime length wise and hollow out the halves", don't be fooled into thinking it's like an avocado or something that you just scoop right out. No sir. It ain't no avocado. You'll be swearing before you're done with one...mark my words.

But enough with party details. Suffice it to say it was fun and Jane had a great time doing girlish things with her cousins. I really love my little four year old. Wow, I still can't believe I have a kid that old! I've decided four is a good age (am I going to eat those words?)even though it's only been one day. I know this because 3 was pretty dang good and it only gets better right? (Don't burst my bubble.) Jane has really become my little buddy, pleasant to be around, entertaining and funny, curious and surprisingly reasonable for her age. She handles her crazy mother and stubborn sister with grace and patience.(Am I going to eat all of these words too now that I have said them out loud?) She makes me truly happy and I am so glad she's mine. It's been a good 4 years. Happy Birthday Janers!

Notice the tiny tea set

Happy Birthday Jane!

Not nearly enough magic

2009-09-09T22:11:00.003-06:00

I have more than a few things which I enjoy doing, and like to fancy that I do them moderately well. Being a somewhat self-actualized individual I realize that I am not the best at any of them, but I often tell myself things like "I could be as good as so-and-so if I had more time / money to practice / work at it more, but I have always had other things to do as well". But every so often that illusion of this great potential comes crashing down.

I was playing Wii golf with my nephews while I guess I was supposed to be watching Jane & Allie (I think Em told me to keep an eye on them. That or make sure I took the rolls out of the oven. I can't remember because it was THAT intense of a game of Wii golf) Anyway, Jane was playing dress ups and came up to me wearing either a fairy godmother or a drag queen outfit (again, the details are kind of fuzzy) and told me that she had a magic wand and could turn me into whatever I want.

Jane: "Dad, what do you want to be?"
Me: "A pretty pretty princess." (Don't try and tell me you've never secretly wished for that too...)
Jane: "Abracadabra, you're a pretty pretty princess."
Me: "Yay!"

<5 minutes of Wii golf elapse>

Jane: "Ok dad, now what should I turn you into?"
Me: "I want to be a crocodile!"
Jane: "Abracadabra, you're a crocodile."
Me: "Yay!"

<5 more minutes of Wii golf elapse, in which I hit a lousy shot. Note: this is not at all unlike a regular game of golf, only in regular golf I do not have big blond pony tails>

Jane: "Ok dad, now what should I turn you into?"
Me: "I want to be a good golfer."
Jane: "Oh, I'm sorry dad, my magic wand can't do that."
Me:

Yes, apparently a magic wand that can turn me into a reptile and a princess does not have enough magic to improve my short game. Of course, maybe I am putting way too much stock in the magic wand of a girl who the other night, as I was tucking her into bed, looked at me and said "Dad, sometimes I just wish that everything could be hamburgers."

The scariest 4th of July ever!

2009-09-06T21:58:00.000-06:00

When it comes to holidays, the word "scary" is usually reserved for Halloween. But my 4th of July warranted the word this year. Not because there were men with chainsaws hiding in the bushes or creepy creatures coming out during the fireworks....no, no, here is the face that gave me the scare of my life:

Yes, she looks innocent enough (sort-of....she actually looks like she's about to go hang with her homies...) but she was the source of my complete and utter panic that day.

The day started out fabulous. We spent most of the later afternoon and evening at Sugarhouse Park with Jevan's family waiting for the fireworks to begin. It's a tradition with Jevan's family and we always secure a sweet spot on the hill.

Just at dusk, at that point where you can still somewhat see but colors become muted and it's harder to distinguish things, I was talking to my sister-in-law, keeping an eye on my kids like mothers sometimes do...kind-of a "I am mostly aware of where they are even though they are just barely in my peripheral vision" type of vigilance. Or maybe I should not put any other mothers into that category because that is just my own lack of protective parenting. Anyway, for some reason, it halfway registered in my peripheral vision that Jevan had Allie and was paying attention to where she was going. Apparently, he was thinking the same thing of me. You can tell where this is going, huh?

All of the sudden, in mid-sentence, the alarm bells started ringing in my head (mine are a little bit sluggish and unreliable I've decided. Time for new bells. I think I should get a new set with each kid....) and I blurted out: "Um...where's Allie?" I yelled over to Jevan and he gave me the blank stare. Ohhhh boy. She's just got to be around here somewhere.

After a quick 10 second check, we could tell that the scene was all to calm and serene for Allie to be anywhere in the near vicinity. I glanced frantically around at the neighbors around us, in hopes of finding her scavenging around looking for "treats", but she wasn't anywhere around.

I took a long look at the hillside COVERED completely in HUNDREDS of people and... the panic set it in. My stomach dropped out, tears started to form at the edges of my eyes, and I started praying. The main reason for such panic was that it was basically dark at this point. I couldn't tell who anyone was, let alone my little child toddling through the mass of people.

Jevan's family was great and immediately fanned themselves out across the hillside. I took a wild guess and hoped Allie had headed up the hill, going for the top. I called out for her frantically and a few people said they had seen her, so I followed a trail of pointing fingers, the tears growing stronger for each second that passed. Where could she have gone? Why did she have to move so fast? Why wasn't I paying better attention? Why? Why?

After about 3 minutes, which honestly felt like the longest 3 minutes of my entire life, I spotted her. She was standing right by a car parked on the road, pointing and telling anyone who would listen that she found a car. She was literally feet from an extremely busy road and could have stepped out from the side of the parked car at any moment into on coming traffic. I ran and swept her up in my arms and started crying. I had never felt such relief. Every tense moment flooded from me in a rush of emotion. I held her so tight that I probably squeezed all the air out of her.

I notified all the searchers and everyone returned, greatly relieved that she had been found. The rest of the evening was great - the fireworks spectacular...but I had a tough time enjoying it with all the mommy guilt I was carrying. It was a good learning experience though...or rather, it basically just solidified a rule I already knew - never take your eyes off Allie.

So that's the story. I probably shouldn't publicly admit to being such a negligent mother. No one will ever leave their kids with me again. But I guess such an experience was something I needed to write down because I had never experienced true fear until I had thought I had lost a child. You realize how much you love these little crazy creatures.

A couple pictures from the day:

Jane and Jevan playing some soccer.

Jane and her cousin Calvin.

Little ducks beware...

2009-09-06T11:04:00.004-06:00

I was getting Jane's shoes on this morning and she was singing (because really, who can resist singing while their dad fumbles around with those silly sandle-y shoes that have those impossible clasps that were made with people with little bitty tiny fingers in mind, not that I'm bitter). She was singing the "4 little ducks song", you know the ducks run away, mom yells, then 3 of them come home, etc. etc. Anyway, Jane sings the first 3 verses, then gets to when there are only 2 ducks left. Here's how she finished the verse:

"When the Mother duck said quack quack quack,
2 little ducks came wandering back.
And then there was a polar bear there that bit them and chewed them up."

Ladies and gentlemen, my daughter.

June Adventures

2009-09-03T21:38:00.002-06:00

In June, we went with Jevan's family up to Eden, UT (near Huntsville) where we stayed in some condos for a glorious week. We all had a grand time. There was lots of time spent at the pool, and indoors just playing games and hanging out. The highlights of the trip were definitely the hiking as well as a little petting farm with LOTS of baby animals. I must admit I was most taken with the baby goats...I know it sounds weird but there is just something about a little baby goat that is just so dang cute. One day I shall have a goat. (Jevan says he can hardly stand the dog so a goat is out of the question. One day I might not have a goat.)

Again I think I will let the pictures speak for themselves. Besides, my friend informed that she really only looks at the pictures....and who wants to read a travel log? We were there, it was fun, we came home.

Hiking up around Powder Mountain.

My kids love their accessories. Sunglasses are a necessity around our house.

Jane was obsessed with finding these and "blowing them out" like it was her birthday. She aptly called them Wishberry blossoms. Her next favorite was holding stinkbugs and caterpillars she found on the trail. She named them all Sarah.

The llama nearly sucks up Allie's hand at the petting farm.

Jevan's sister Andrea finds her favorite spot with the baby bunnies.

Allie with my goats.

The horse ride around the corral was a huge hit.

All the crazy kids. Jane and Allie have a blast with their cousins.

My second adventure in June was running the Wasatch Back (or Ragnar) with a good friend from highschool. Jevan pretty much covered this in an earlier post but I thought I would post a couple pictures. It was a crazy experience...a little surreal at times..but super fun. The best part was all the new friends I made doing it. I didn't know anyone in our relay group but my friend when we started the journey, and by the end, I loved them all. There is something very unifying when you are trapped in a van for over 24 hours straight, your only escape being your leg of the relay where you run heart out for X number of miles. It sounds just crazy but it was a heck of a good time.

My Ragnar team...and yes, it was not too warm that morning...

And my friend Erika who roped me into it in the first place. I'm glad she did.

First trip of the season - May

2009-09-03T15:24:00.000-06:00

We started our summer with our first camping trip of the year. Our friends had decided to venture out west and wanted us to join them. In all my years of living in Utah, I had never been to the Oquirrh Mountains that lie to the west of the valley. I always assumed they were too arid to be anything very pretty. I have since repented. How wrong I was! Our campsite was nestled back in a canyon with lots of green trees and large stream. (The stream was wonderful and a nightmare at the same time. It was very full from spring run-off and dangerously swift. It took a fair amount of energy just keeping track of the location of every child at every moment so we didn't lose any downstream). We had a great time. I even had my first taste of Quinoa (on a camping trip? I know! We were lucky enough to have some campers who were serious about good food.) The last day, we woke up to a serious downpour and after a VERY LONG hour holed up the tent, we did the next best thing....cosmic bowling. In our pajamas no less. Thank you, Grantsville!

I'll just let the pictures do the talking from here:

Allie shows off her favorite rock before hucking it into the stream. Sometimes it made it, sometimes it just hit innocent bystanders.

The Crew - Jacksons, Nelsons and us. This picture tells all.

Feeding frenzy during the hike. Watch your fingers....

Dad and Jane pose for a picture.

Who's dirty child is this? This is the face of trouble....

This little kid right here was one of the highlights of the entire trip for me. This is Romney. Yes, those are knee pads and elbow pads over his pajamas. They went over his clothes during the day too. In fact, he had them on 24/7, even when he was sleeping. They gave him his superhuman powers, so he said. I think he looks pretty tough, don't you? *smile*

Cosmic bowling in the jammies. Good times.

We saw this place somewhere between Grantsville and Tooele. It made us smile.

Breaking the Silence.....

2009-09-01T23:32:00.006-06:00

Did you ever have to keep a journal in your English class? One of those random busy work assignments that forced you to practice your writing skills? I hated those. I hated them because I was terrible at keeping up with them. And, I hated them because once I fell behind, my habit of procrastination would kick in full force. The more work I had to catch up on, the more I would procrastinate. A horribly inefficient and vicious cycle. It would all end in tears at midnight and pulling an all-nighter to finish on the day it had to be turned in.

Sadly, my blog has become that monster. The summer has been crazy but fun, with lots of stuff happening that I have wanted to blog about. However, as soon as I fell behind in recording it all, I just reverted to my old ways, putting it off and putting it off.

But of course, every slacker has excuses. Here are some of mine:

1. Constant child supervision. Living at your parents house for a few months definitely has its advantages, but one of its disadvantages is that their house is not really child proof - especially for our tornado-on-two-legs two year old. I can't just let my child roam free in the house while I am on the computer like I could at my own house. There would definitely be irreparable damage to house and home...and probably the cat too. Allie sure does love the cat.

2. This summer has been our summer of vacations. Lots of good times and not much time to blog.

3. Trying to buy a house. Let's talk about ALL-CONSUMING. When I am not looking at houses, I'm looking at them online. When I'm not looking at them online, I'm obsessing about where to live and why...and blah, blah, blah. It's taken way too much of my small supply of brainpower and time lately.

But no more excuses. Here I am. In case anyone is still listening. I'm going to catch up on the summer's adventures.

AND, to all my blog friends - I'm going to catch up on all of your lives too. I've got lots of reading to do.

Homeless

2009-06-20T12:53:00.008-06:00

Ok, so technically we're not actually homeless. We're currently living with my wonderful in-laws, who are gracious enough to let us hang out here whilst we look for our new home sweet home. Since I am not paying rent or a mortgage yet am not living in a cardboard box, let's just say I'm between domiciles.

We're a little behind the times from a blogging perspective, so I'm going to do a quick recap. I have time to do this because, right now, at 11:44 PM on Friday night, Em is in a van in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of strangers preparing to get out at 3:00 AM or so and run for 5 miles as a part of a 188-mile relay race known as the Wasatch Back. Yeah, I don't get it either. Apparently there are prizes not only for the team that wins, but for "Best Decorated Car", "Best Team Name", and "Best Costume". Em's favorites so far: a team dressed like the cast of Xena, Warrior Princess and people wearing "Rabies Awareness Fun Run" T-shirts.

I'd rather stay up here than run 188 miles...

So being between domiciles definitely has some advantages. For example, nighttime is always a battle. Whenever it's time to brush their teeth / put on jammies / get in (or out) of the tub / read books / sing a song they cry and call for mom. I think the only thing they prefer to have me do is stuff that will a) otherwise get them into trouble or b) get them out of going to bed. I haven't quite figured out why this is. It might have to do with the fact that I tell them if they get out of bed the aliens will suck their brains out of their heads with a giant straw; dunno. Anyway, because they know that Grandma is around, they yell and scream and carry on until she acquiesces (I think this is a fancy term for "negotiates with terrorists") and rescues them / me from me / them.

Additionally, there is always good food to eat at my between domicile. But there is also really not good food to eat. Let me explain: when we first got there, both of the refrigerators were completely full of food. Upon a casual perusal, Em discovered that there were a number of… let's say "questionable" items contained therein. Further inspection revealed that had someone from the FDA been looking they likely could have arrested my in-laws for growing biological weapons next to the cream cheese. After an inventory of food (including leftovers from a Sunday dinner that I kid you not was more than 2 years ago) we got rid of a few things and now there is only good food to eat.

Speaking of food to eat, Jane made me laugh at dinner. We had popsicles for dessert, and Jane chose a green one, which led to the following Laurel and Hardy-esque dialogue:

Jane: "Mmmm, I just love Slime popsicles."
Me: "Jane, that's not slime… it's lime."
Jane: "I know, Slime."
Me: "It's LIME."
Jane: "Yeah, slime."
Rather than disabuse her of that, they shall from now on be known as Slime popsicles.

Finally, I have to talk about actually packing up our house, even though it was a long time ago. My entire adolescent life was spent with the assumption that, upon entering adulthood, I would find a fantastic job rescuing princesses and vanquishing evil for huge sums of money. My envisioned career path rhymed with "Splintendo" and "Innuendo." So when faced with the challenge of putting all of the contents of my house into a container 8'x8'x16' I knew that it was simply a matter of channeling my inner Tetris skills. I'd like to give a shout-out to Alexey Pajitnov (the inventor of Tetris) and thank him for providing the platform that prepared me for the challenge. As I was about to start loading, an ice cream truck drove up the circle, which normally would be annoying, but I took it as a sign. You see, this is likely the only ice cream truck in the world that plays the Tetris theme song while making the rounds.

So with the help of people from the ward and my stalwart brother in-law Steve, I got the high score for live-action Tetris and fit pretty much everything inside. Post-packing, I discovered that the day we loaded boxes was actually the 25-year anniversary of Tetris' creation. Fate was most definitely on my side.

May Family Update

2009-05-18T15:20:00.008-06:00

So much has happened lately that I felt it was time for a family update.

The big news is that we are in the midst of selling our house. Right now the economy is in a pretty substantial recession and as such, housing prices have gone really low. It's a really hard time to sell a house, but a fantastic time to buy one as housing prices and interest rates haven't been this low in decades. We decided to just put our house up on the market and see what happens. It took a bit of work to get it ready, but we did it...and then it was under contract in 3 weeks. Unheard of in the market right now. We feel so blessed. Now I know that we really were supposed to move. We really needed a change.

The biggest problem is we don't know where to move. We want to find a neighborhood that has kids for the girls to play with and where Jev and I will be able to find friends. You can buy a really nice, new, big house right now, but in the areas where these are located, I worry about the neighborhoods being all about "keeping up with the Jones'" So figuring out where we want to go will be the next biggest challenge these next few months. I still really want to move to Heber but we can't decide if it would be truly feasible or not. I do know it would be really fun to live by my family AND Sarah. Now that Sarah has had her first baby, we could spend lots of time together. Anyway, for the next few months we are moving in with my parents, staying in the basement while we search. I hope we all survive each other.

That is the biggest family news. Otherwise, all is good. I just got my first real roadbike and I'm excited to use it in some triathlons this year. Having some sort of race to be looking forward to continuously is what keeps me sane and happy. Jevan thinks I'm crazy but I love to run, to exercise, to make my body work hard and be strong. I think I am addicted to endorphins. Right now I am also driving around a rental car because the subaru got rear-ended when the girls and I were returning from visiting a friend in Eagle Mountain. It should be fixed by the end of the week.

Jevan still travels quite a bit with work and while it is hard on me and the girls sometimes, he is racking up lots of skymiles for us to use! Jevan has started a city league basketball team. It means he plays several days a week between his city league and ward ball teams. Jevan continues to be the joker in the family - usually happy and crazy and making us laugh. He loves to tease, tickle and wrestle with the girls.

Now, onto the girls:

Jane: Jane is growing up so fast! She is only 3 but everyone says she seems much older because she is so verbal and articulate. She always wants to play with the older kids. Everyone continues to be her friend and she is quite a charmer. When we get out of the car at the park and we see other kids there, Jane yells out; "Look Mom, my friends are here!", even though she has no idea who any of them are. People in the ward say they are mad at us for leaving because we are taking Jane away. She has won the heart of so many people with her unusual warmth, friendliness, and confidence.

Jane is finishing up preschool and dance this month and I also put her in a "smart-start soccer class". She loves all of these things and looks forward to all of them. At the end of this month is her final dance performance with South Valley Creative Dance. I have really loved this dance co. They are about as close to Virginia Tanner as you can get but without all the expense. Jane's preschool teacher says Jane is a pretty sharp cookie and will probably be reading soon. This I actually know because we have been working on it, bit by bit. Jane really showed an interest in learning to read so I got her some early reading books that she gets to mark off on a chart as she masters each book. She knows simple sight words and is learning to sound out other shorter words. She also loves to practice writing her letters and numbers. I got her an writing board book with eraseable markers and she will spend a full hour working on tracing and writing her letters. Her preschool teacher says the only thing that doesn't keep her focus is coloring things slowly and deliberatly. She doesn't care about staying in the lines.

She also has this amazing vocabulary and is constantly pulling out words that we had no idea she even knew. The most incredible part is that not only can she say bigger words, but she knows what they mean for the most part.

Jane has kept her sweet manner for the most part. She is a fun 3 year old. She sure does ask a lot of questions though. Somedays I get really tired of the word "why?" She is trying to learn how to play with Allie but the two fight quite a bit. Mostly because Jane likes to bark orders and Allie doesn't like to take orders from ANYONE. But when they do play nicely together, it's really cute. i hope they grow to become good friends. The worst is actually bathtime. They are in too close of proximity to each other and bug each other to death. There is continual fighting most days.

Again, though, Jane has stayed very sweet. She will randomly tell Jevan and I that she loves us and will come up and give us a hug and kiss....all on her own and out of the blue. It makes my entire day. She is very loving and motherly too, and loves to cuddle with babies and other small folk.

Allie is cute and funny and a REAL handful. She is exercising her independence more everyday, and wants to always be doing things by herself. She doesn't like help, especially from Jane. She is still a very busy creature and is always on the move and getting into things. Her words have really improved though and that is helping with her temper tantrums. Allie has been acquiring language in a funny way - she waited a long time to develop a few single words, but then skipped all the rest and went straight to sentences. Instead of just "milk" she started saying..."I NEEEED milk" . Instead of saying "help" like most kids do, she says a garbled version of..."Mom, can you help me please?" Most of what she says are 2 to 4 word sentences. Sometimes there is only one word in the sentence that you can actually understand, but we almost always get the gist of what she is saying.

Some of my favorite phrases are: "oh..thankyewvewymuch..." and when you tell her thank you she says: "welkie!"

I have found Allie has my heart for animals. She LOVES them. She gets all excited over birds, wants to pet every dog she sees, and follows any cat around trying to pet it until it eventually bites her (like my parent's cat). Jasper hurt his paw a couple of months ago, and every time we went to the vet to have the bandage changed, Allie would cry when they would take Jasper away to the back room.

Allie is getting taller and leaner too. She is also very strong. She loves playing in the water and I am always pulling her away from the bathroom sink. She has a fascination with the toliet but is still a long ways off of being ready to potty-train. She also still loves shoes and is always trying on a different pair whenever she can. We always have small shoes strewn all over the house.

Happiness Is.......

2009-05-01T23:44:00.003-06:00

These are the things that have made me smile lately.

Happiness is....

....SELLING YOUR HOUSE!

(Or I guess I should technically say, "under contract." We sold it in a little over 3 weeks. This is nothing short of a miracle and we feel incredibly blessed. We are currently taking suggestions on what in the heck we should do now. )

......TRAMPOLINES

(I know. I know. They are dangerous. People break all kinds of body parts on them. They are also one of my very favorite things about my childhood. So, when Jevan's dad offered us their old one, we gladly accepted. I absolutely loved my trampoline growing up - from turning on a sprinkler underneath, to countless sleepovers, to making up dance routines to Beach Boy songs..{.did I say that out loud?} to jumping off the roof onto the tramp {don't tell my parents}, I spent countless hours outside on the tramp. I can't deny my kids the same fun just because they might break an arm. Am I a bad parent?)

...CELEBRATING THE HOUSE SELLING WITH A NIGHT OUT ON THE TOWN - PIZZA, BOWLING AND ICE CREAM CONES

......SWIMMING.

Why this picture you ask? Because this is why I love swimming. Not only is it fun, but it tires out your kids like nothing else - sucks the energy right out of them...until they are falling asleep in their dinner. You swim in the early afternoon and you can put your kids to bed for the night at 4pm. So great.

......SELF PORTRAITS.
\
(Does anyone else get little surprises every time you download the camera?)

See? All kinds of things to make me smile. What makes you smile?

The wonderful thing about Janeys and Allies...

2009-04-21T23:05:00.017-06:00

Every kid does funny things. And every parent think their kids are hilarious. Mine are no different, so please forgive me for regaling you with a few of the most recent ones.

1) As a parent, there are certain nights when you KNOW that bedtime is going to be a battle. And it's on nights like these where you do everything and anything you can to keep emotions in check and just get them in bed before the floodgates burst. Well, on one such night a few weeks ago, I was unsuccessful and Jane started to completely and totally melt down. After going through my list of coping mechanisms (including begging, bribing, pleading, threatening, and holding my breath) Jane still refused to see reason. (Note: the fact that I am still surprised that, periodically, a 3 year-old female refuses to see reason is in and of itself a sign of my mental and emotional state) As a result, I put her to bed with no books and no songs. Jane is a creature of habit and rituals, and any variation thereupon is akin to canceling bingo night at the retirement home, in that you're likely to be pelted by walkers, dentures, and adult diapers for any change in schedule. (And don't how Jane has access to dentures or adult diapers... it's a long story)

Anyway, she was not pleased with this decision, and sat in her bed and alternated screaming and pouting for the next 30 minutes. Eventually, Em went in and compromised with her and did all of the responsible parenting things while I was hunched over in the hallway rocking back and forth while muttering under my breath. Seriously if my kids make it through grade school without psychotherapy it will be a minor miracle.

The next morning, Jane came into our room and just kind of stood in front of me, waiting for me to do something. I told her hi, and then she said "Dad, I'm sorry I was grumpy last night." I said "It's ok, Jane, I'm glad that you're happy now." She then replied "Yeah, I was grumpy, but you were ridiculous." How exactly do you respond to that? Especially when she's probably right??

2) We were having dinner with Em's family a while ago, and Jane was spending more time entertaining her cousins by doing various inappropriate things than by eating, so I did the "Here are the 3 pieces of food you have to eat so you don't keel over and die from malnutrition" thing with her dinner. I got her to try a bite of something and I said "There, see? Is that good or what?" to which she innocently replied "That's what, Dad."

3) Allie, on the other hand, is convinced that she is going to be the next American Idol. She and Jane play this game where they stand up on the coffee table, sing and dance, then say "Ta Da!" and take a bow. This typically goes on for hours (or until someone falls off the table and cracks their head, but the show must go on!). Well, Allie has taken to practicing in her crib. At night. Instead of sleeping. So a good hour after you put her in her barb-wire enclosed domed prison (aka crib) you can stand outside her door and hear her singing, followed by a "Ta da!" and then a "Day doo, day doo" (translation: Thank you, thank you) which is in all likelihood accompanied by bowing.

4) Allie has also pretty much eschewed words and instead has jumped right in on sentences. My current favorites are "Ooooh, day doo so much!" and "Oh nooo, binkie where are you?".

5) The other night I was putting Jane to bed and she told me the names of her fingers. It was actually this matter-of-fact, as if everyone has names for each of their fingers. They were as follows:

The Right Hand

The Left Hand

Ummm... is that normal?

6) Every night after we put Jane to sleep she comes out of her room for a few things. Typically, she'll need to come out and use the potty, and then she comes out to give her deep thought for the night. These are things that she has been thinking about and can't answer for one reason or another. For example, tonight she came out of her room and asked me "Dad, why do shirts sometimes have names on them?" I didn't have a great answer, but I told her something along the lines of "It's because you're wearing clothes that don't belong to you, so I wouldn't tell people that they have names on them because someone might take it away from you." (Keep in mind that I want to be Calvin's dad when I grow up.)

Anyway, she went back to her room, likely infinitely more confused than normal. Then, 5 minutes later, she came back out and had this mischievous grin on her face, like she knows she's about to be funny and can hardly stand it. She comes up to me, gives me a big hug, and says "Happy Easter dad" and starts giggling uncontrollably. She's been wishing us both happy Easter for a good 2 weeks now and, for some reason, the joke keeps on getting funnier.

7) And finally, the other night as we were having a tickle war, Jane said to me in her silly voice, "Dad, you smell like poo!" (What is about turning 3 and all the sudden potty words are funny?) I explained to her that we never say that to people..it isn't kind or polite. She then started playing again and a few minutes later asked: "Is it okay if I tell you that you smell like shirt?" Um....sure, Janey. Just don't forget the "r", okay?

Anyone want to buy a house?

2009-04-16T16:30:00.003-06:00

'Cause ours is officially up for sale. Yessiree folks, step right up and take a look at our fine home. It slices, it dices, it can...leap whole buildings in a single bound...and it can be yours for only 3 easy installments of $39.99. If you act today, we will throw in a free, all-natural wild bird that will live on your front door.

No, really.

We really are selling our house and we really do have a bird living on our front door.
See for yourself:

It's a robin's nest. It wasn't there yesterday buy yet here it is today. Talk about your speedy construction. I am most impressed. I have spent the afternoon trying to convince them to rethink their locale...., instability of the foundation, noisy neighbors...not to mention doorbells, and the likelyhood of strange swaying sensations felt quite frequently. They're not really listening to me. This means I might have to take things into my own hands and relocate them myself. This is when I really wish I wasn't moving or currently showing our house. If I wasn't, I would just lock the door and keep it shut until the robins had had their little family and moved on. I HATE the thought of having to disturb this happy little home. Luckily, there aren't any eggs in it yet.

So, with or without the bird, if you have anyone interested in buying a house, tell them to buy ours. PLEASE!! It is the biggest pain in the keister to keep this place sparkling clean day after day..and be ready to show the house at a moment's notice. (By the way, I used the word keister in front of Jane the other day and she asked what it meant. I told her it meant her behind and she won't believe me. She told me I was lying and there is only one name for a bum "and that is BUM! B.....M....M!!" This discussion went on for 20 minutes. Can anyone back me up here?)

Anyway, for all you who have sold a house, I have all new respect for you - now I know how much work it is. But we're ready for a change and it's a great time to buy a house if you can sell your own. Wish us luck!

Happy Belated Easter

2009-04-15T21:06:00.006-06:00

After a weekend filled with Easter egg dying, birthday parties, Easter cookie decorating, egg hunts and much feasting, Jane threw herself most dramatically across her bed on Sunday night and exclaimed "Mom, I am totally GUZZ-ZHAUSTED!!" Amen, sister. But it sure was hecka fun. Happy Easter everyone.

Dying Easter eggs with cousins.

Obligatory Easter dress pictures

No, that is not our house in the background. We like to take pictures in front of random houses....don't you?

Jane happy to be done with photo session

Allie in escape mode. Getting pictures of Allie takes a crew of many people.

Arctic Pools and Easter Goblins

2009-03-30T23:50:00.007-06:00

This weekend marked our first real vacation of 2009. We went “uncamping” in Goblin Valley. This means you pretend like you’re going camping to make your heart happy, but submit to the voices in your head who tell you you are crazy to make two small things who have no idea how to stay in a sleeping bag to save their lives sleep in a tent when it is 29 degrees outside…so you whimp out and get a motel room in Green River with a continental breakfast . That’s really long to say, hence we say, “uncamping.” Sadly, the only “roughing it” we did was when we tried to swim the first day and the pool had icebergs floating in it. We tried to find relief in the hot tub but it was completely filled to overflowing with all of Park City High School’s track team. The only wildlife viewing was of a few of these aforementioned teenage boys trying to pull off each other’s swimsuits. Jane was definitely a little traumitized.

Anyway, on to the story. So we have these awesome, super tough friends (the Jacksons) who came with us, and who did the real camping for us. They have two small kids who toughed it out with them and together we all had a great time. The first day we drove in from Green River and met them for a hike in Little Wildhorse Canyon. The weather was great and the kids did surprisingly well. All but Allie hiked the entire time. We collected lots of rocks, found lizards, climbed trees and bribed them to keep moving with LOTS of treats (our friends had a bag of candy for their kids aptly called their “energy pills.”) We finished the day with a swim in pool (which luckily got all of it’s heating problems worked out and the track team had gone home) and made a campfire in a little random State Park in Green River in which I fed my newly vegetarian friends some beef stew. Go me.

That night we thanked the voices in our heads that told us not to take Allie camping as we tried frantically to get her to sleep in a bed with the family. She would have none of it. My favorite part of the night was when she woke up at 3 am and started playing “Duck, Duck…Goose!” on the tops of our heads, yelling it out at the top of her lungs, and then body-slamming us as she tripped over our whimpering sleep-deprived bodies. Jane wanted Allie to sleep under the bed and Jevan voted for trapping her in the bathroom. Benedryl was the only salvation in the end.

The next day we spent in Goblin Valley, playing hide and go seek and searching for Easter eggs that the Easter Goblin had left for the kids (this was me playing out one of my favorite child hood memories of when my family spent Easter in Goblin Valley. I just had to do it for my kids). We had a great time until the Goblins figured they had had enough of us and conjured up a nasty wind storm that sent sand flying everywhere until you could barely see and had sand in every orifice of your body. No wonder camels have two sets of eyelashes. I would have liked my own second set. At that point, we ran for our lives.

All in all, a great trip. Thanks Jimarie and family!

The Allie Cat Turns Two

2009-03-16T21:02:00.005-06:00

So it's official. I no longer have to give out Allie's age in months (I hate it because I can never remember how many months she is...the numbers get too big and I can't count that high...in fact, I think she has been 18 months up until....yesterday). She's finally a two year old. Now she is just one year off from fitting her 3 year old body. Hooray for Allie!

We had a birthday bash for her on Saturday night with the grandparents. She had a grand time being the center of attention for a while, despite all efforts by her sister to make herself the star. Allie spent the day singing her version of "Happy Birthday" to herself and putting things on her head in celebration. She also broke out her favorite kazoo and did a few rounds on that while circling the kitchen.

I made her a cake (or tried, anyway) that didn't look like anything fancy but it tasted pretty good. It was a lemon poppyseed (jane calls them "poopyseeds") cake with raspberry filling and lemon buttercream frosting. I still really lack talent in the decorating department. I could not get my frosting to go red - instead it came out this wierd shade of salmon pink. Allie ate a HUGE piece of it and finshed it all off by deciding to comb her hair with her frosting-covered fork. Very nice, indeed.

She got a few presents, one of which was a new scooter, but in typical Allison style she decided that the cheap Nemo plastic ball was the best present of all. She loves Nemo with all her little heart. She calls him "Meeemo."

All in all I think it was a great birthday for the Allie Cat.

In celebration of her 2 year old birthday, here are some of my favorite things about her:

1. When she wants to snuggle, she's really good at it. When she doesn't, watch out for flailing limbs.

2. She is starting to finally say words, although she kinda just skipped to short sentences. Instead of saying "mine!" when you take something she wants, as most two years old do, she says "But I neeeeeeed it, I neeed it!" We have been trying to get her to say please for things but she listened to Jane say "can I have that please Mom?" in her little singsong voice for so long that now Allie thinks saying please involves some long sentence of babble with the exact same singsong tone. I keep telling her that saying one word is a lot easier, but she can't seem to get it.

3. Allie is tough. She takes some serious spills all the time, but very seldom cries. She can also beat you up if you get in her way. Ask Jane. Although, with the way Jane bosses her around, she has to have some kind of self-defense.

4. Allie has to sleep with two blankets, two teddies, a frog, a duck named "Quack!" and a waterbottle filled to the top. Maybe it helps her get through her nights in the "tent" or maybe she has severe packrat-ism. Beware future husband.

5. Allie has no fear. This is good because she will try anything. This is bad because she might die - she will leap headlong into a swimming pool, caring less if someone is in there to catch her or not. She will also take the highest slide at the park on her stomach, head first. Face plants are her specialty.

6. Allie might have a future as a graffiti artist. Crayons and walls are her favorite paint and canvas. She has done it in multiple homes now, not just mine, and one included my sister-in-law's newly painted downstairs in her new house. Honestly!

7. Allie knows what she wants out of life. She wants to make all her own decisions and insists on "picking" everything. From her clothes to her crackers, she has to have just the right ones. That's why none of her clothes match if you ever wonder.

8. Allie has the cutest giggle and smile in the world. She also melts my heart when she puts her head on my shoulder when I hold her and snuggles a while. I live for those moments.

I could go on for a long time, so suffice it to say: We love you Allison!!

McDonald's ain't got nothin' on this....

2009-03-03T23:10:00.004-07:00

So we all know that in today's society, the "Kids Meal" is all about the cool toy that comes with the food. It certainly isn't the food. I must admit I almost never visited McDonald's before I had kids, and now, we probably hit it once a month. And everytime, Jane begs me to dig through the greasy fries to find the little prize at the bottom...the Hannah Montana finger puppet, the monster truck road rally kit, ...the ....spy kids GPS tracking system. It's amazing the stuff they stick in there. But all their high-tech gadgetry does not impress me. I have now found my favorite Kids Meal place, and if you like random, you gotta go.

This was one of those moments that was so random, you just have to blog about it. I have no idea why I find this so funny but I do.

So I spend a fair amount of time in Heber. I have 2 of my 4 siblings living up there as well as a dear friend. Yesterday I was visiting this dear friend who just had a baby (a darling little girl) and on the way home, we stopped at this funny fast food joint called Dairy Keen (awesome huh?). I have only ordered kids meals there twice - once last summer and then again yesterday. The first time I ordered a Kids Meal there, all seemed normal as this nice lady handed our food and such out the window - drinks....a couple bags....some straws and napkins.....giant 4 foot swords......WHAT THE? Yup. She handed me two huge plastic swords complete with carrying sheaths. Jane and Allie were bouncing up and down with excitement. I honestly just stared at the giant plastic poking sticks wondering what to do until the car behind me honked impatiently. So so random. As I drove away, I was still in shock as the kids began hitting themselves and me with their new prize toys.

So out of hunger and curosity, we stopped there again yesterday and here is the treasure that awaited us this time. I had the girls model them for me:

Yes friends, there be two stunning cowboy hats, one in bright neon pink tiger print and one in fabulous blue leopard print. You don't want to miss out on these beauties. Go on, take a drive to Dairy Keen.

Apparently there's two of us in the house

2009-02-20T20:49:00.003-07:00

Addicted to chocolate, I mean. Yesterday, I was downstairs with Jane helping her try to play a PBSkids computer game (you never realize how much coordination it takes to point and click a mouse until you watch a 3 year old try to master it....) when I realized it was waaaay to quiet suddenly. Where's Allie? Dang it. She had been taping up her feet with scotch tape just a moment ago, but now was nowhere to be seen. I ran upstairs to this:

This is what happens when you leave a box of wrapped Valentine chocolates on your dresser. Normally you think this spot is safe, until you realize that your near-two year old can make a rudamentary ladder out of your dresser drawers. Notice how in one hand she has a fistfull of at least 5 chocolates? She was in Allie heaven. The funniest part about it all was how she quickly tried to shove them all back in the box when she saw me. Sorry, honey, the chocolate beard kinda gives you away. Allie is also sporting a new trend in hairstyles. It's going to be all the rage. All you have to do is pull out the pigtails your mom put in your hair...multiple times.

Jane also told me today that she had 3 dreams last night, all about what she was going to be when she "growed up". In her words: "In the first dream, I was basketball player. In the second dream, I was a mountain climber. In the third dream, I was BUHTtographer!" So watch out world, my daughter is going into the WNBA and will then summit everest while taking pictures of "buhts" all along the way.

Just for kicks..

2009-02-12T16:44:00.003-07:00

Just because i finally took the time to post this on facebook, I figured I would stick this on the blog too. Not really that ya'll are interested...my kids are far more exciting...but I'm doing it anyway, just for kicks and giggles.

25 Random Things About Me

Here goes:

1. I think I could live my entire life in hoodie sweatshirts. I wouldn't even mind living in Alaska so i could wear them in the summer.

2. My arms are way too long for my body.

3. I am a living oxymoron: I love change but thrive on routine in my everyday life. I really like being with people, yet, I would be perfectly content living in a cabin in the mountains all by myself for a year. (okay...my girls and husband would probably have to come along.....for at least some of the time. :)

4.My life dream is to be a park ranger. Dorky huh? But I will do it. Even when I am 70 and I have to drag Jevan around in a big RV. Maybe if I promise him we can put pink flamingos out in front when we park it.

5. My most random childhood memory is when my friend and I found a GIANT gymnastic mat in a pond by our house. We had the time of our lives...until we noticed the leeches.

6. People think I really like to exercise. That's only sort of true. Mostly, I just really like to eat.

7. I can't stand it when people rub their bare feet back and forth across carpet. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me.

8. I would have LOVED to work on the movie crew that did Planet Earth. My top 3 dream destinations are Peru, New Zealand and China.

9. I have never broken a bone or had stitches. I have had a blood transfusion though. Twice.

10. I have some strange disease that makes my hands and feet cold ALL the time. It's really annoying. My favorite Valentine's present from my husband was a fleece covered heating pad. Sadly, I think I curl up with it more than I curl up with him:). Kidding, Jev.

11. I LOVE off-the-wall random comedy. Flight of the Conchords is one of my favorites. Movies include Rubin & Ed and Danny Deckchair.

12. I once went without bathing for close to 20 days. Know that I didn't have any choice. Luckily, it was in the great outdoors and everyone else around me stunk too.

13. I am addicted to chocolate. If anyone knows any way to overcome this, please let me know. Is there a patch or something I can use?

14. Other foods I love include artichokes, mashed potatoes and homemade ice cream.

15. I've always had this small fear of talking on the phone to strangers. It goes back to the time I tried to ask some pet store owner about the strange behavior of my hamster and he hung up on me.

16. I love to read but it's hard for me to find time anymore. My new obsession is downloading books onto my iPod. It's so great..try it. Folding laundry is so much better when you're listening to a good book.

17. I have absolutely no long term memory. Or short term for that matter. It drives me crazy.

18. I also have no fashion sense. See number 1. I'm a very lazy dresser. In fact, I often leave the same pair of earrings in for probably a month.

19. One of my many heros is Jane Goodall. I once saw her speak and she made me cry real big tears. Other heros include Gordon B Hinkley and of course, my mom.

20. I have always had a thing for Sean Connery even though he's like.....80.

21. I had secret crushes on all my soccer coaches except for one.

22. I like to cook for the most part. Sometimes I find myself wondering who in the heck ever figured out how some foods work. Take meringue. What sad person sat and thought "maybe if I hand-beat these egg whites for 20 hours it will turn into cool fluff!" Who does that?

23. Most people know this, but I really love snow. My happy place is cross country skiing up Millcreek Canyon with my dog. Snowy days give me warm fuzzies. I even don't mind shovelling it.

24. It takes me forever to text things on my phone. So, if you ever get one for me, know there was a lot of heart-felt effort put into it.

25. I could never imagine my life without my husband and my little girls. They are all truly what gives me the most joy in this life.

When did my eyes get too big?

2009-02-02T21:05:00.006-07:00

The other day I was washing Jane's face and apparently I got a little too vigorous, so she told me I had to stop or I would rub her spot right off. I looked at her face and had no idea what she was talking about, leading to this little repartee:

Me: "Jane, I don't see a spot..."
Jane: "Dad, you can't see it."
Me: "Why not?"
Jane [matter of factly]: "Because your eyes are too big. You can't see it because you have big eyes."

I've been thinking a lot about that statement, and wondering what other things there are in life that I can't see because my eyes are "too big". Maybe it's your eyes getting bigger that makes imaginary friends disappear, or what makes a walk through the park routine rather than an adventure.

I get reminded of this every time I watch my favorite TV show, Charlie and Lola (seriously... it's great. My favorite time of any daddy day is seeing Allie's face just light up when the show starts - she positively glows.). It's on the Disney channel and is absolutely fantastic. They are brother and sister, Charlie being older. His eyes are medium sized, but Lola's are definitely small. Lola has the ability to turn anything into a game or an adventure, and sometimes Charlie exhibits big-eye syndrome and gets frustrated with Lola, but eventually ends up joining her.

It makes me wonder how much I miss out on because my eyes are too big. Perhaps if we all could let our eyes be just a little smaller we would be a little happier and more appreciative of the wonderful things life has to offer. And if in so doing I get to see Mr. Snugglyface again (my former imaginary friend) I will be quite happy.

In other news, we were playing house the other day. Em was Allie, I was Jane, Jane was mom, and Allie was ... Allie (don't ask, but she hates it when she has to play dad. I guess technically this means that I wasn't part of the family somehow). Anyway, "mom" was putting "Allie" and "Jane" to sleep, so she tucked us in and decided to sing this lullaby:

(to the tune of Brahms' "Lullaby")

Lullaby, and good night,
Go to sleep and sleep well
Close your eyes now close your eyes
No one will eat your toes.

I have to be honest, I was worried about my toes.

Finally, from the "I think my child needs to get out more" department comes this picture of Jane decorating her room:

Em (my extremely OCD wife) told me she has no idea where this kind of behavior comes from...

It doesn't matter if your eyes are big or small, that is both really weird and really cute.

A shower for the birds

2009-01-25T14:13:00.005-07:00

This post is dedicated to two of my favorite people, my dear friend Sarah, and my most amazing sister in-law (who I have mentioned many times before in this blog) Andrea. Yesterday, I hosted a baby shower for Sarah as she is due with her first baby in 5 weeks (don't say that too loud or she starts to hyperventilate). I'm really excited for her and wanted to do it up in grand style, especially because if you know Sarah, she would tell you to send out an e-vite, throw some pizzas on the table, and make presents optional (which she did tell me,btw) . Plus, I have to get her back for being so adamant about not finding out what she is having. It's driving me crazy.

Anyway, knowing I wanted to throw a good party, and knowing that creative genius is definitely something I was born without, I called Andrea...'cause she Einstein when it comes to creative genius.

Here was Andrea's challenge - figure how to throw a cute shower that was gender-neutral and something that didn't involve lots of cutesy pastel colors - Sarah just isn't a pink and light blue kinda gal.

The result? Andrea of course came through it with flying colors. Amazing!

Here was what she came up with:

Notice the banner in the window and the birdhouses hanging from the mantle.

The guest(s) of honor.

Cute, huh?

I don't really have any good pictures that do it justice but she did a Mama Bird, Baby Bird theme with different colors of blue and red. It was so cute. Andrea was the mastermind and I was the worker bee (along with other members of Jevan's family - thanks guys!) The birds are handmade, stuffed with rice that sat in lavender for a really long time.They smelled wonderful. They were also the party favors. We had a banner, birdhouses in wheatgrass, menu cards with little bird cutouts....no detail was spared..down to having more little cutouts pasted onto the cups. We had sandwich wraps, salad, fruit, several types of gourmet chips and Andrea topped it off with Cherry Almond cupcakes. Yum. We played pictionary with celebrity kid names which turned out pretty funny. My favorites? Moon Unit, Banjo, and Rocket Valentine.

All in all, it went really well. We only had one small issue involving someone wearing someone else's shoes home....it turned out pretty funny. She had to come back to return the shoes and the poor barefoot lady just said she was happy to know she had good taste in shoes.

SO, thank you Sarah for having a baby (sure life's gonna change, but I have seen your toughness first hand and I know you can handle it. You will be a great mom, and will have this cute little pal to accompany you on all your outdoor adventures) and thank you Andrea for a wonderful shower!

Better Late Than Never??

2009-01-08T21:16:00.008-07:00

So it's not looking to good for me, folks. I'm already slipping on those resolutions...and I think it's a bad omen when you end up making your obligatory "Christmas Festivities" post in the middle of January. No good at all. But that is fair warning at just what this post will be so if you've read enough of these, feel free to move on.

The Christmas season was crazy-busy as it is for everyone, full of Christmas concerts and family and friend parties and some unexpected visitors (have to read on for explanation)...and of lots of fun moments. Here be the highlights of our Christmas.

1. Christmas Jammies (of course). Both Jevan's family and my family do Christmas jammies for all the grandkids. Jevan's mom made the cute set with their monogram on the shirt. My family was all about the plaid.

We were going to arrange them and spell a word, but Allie is the only vowel. Can anyone spell something out of "HCCSJA"?

No letters here, just lots plaid-clad little girls.

2. Christmas Eve: This year Christmas Eve was with my family (we alternate families every year) and we had two unexpected visitors this year. One was Santa (my awesome uncle) and the other was Barak Obama. No, really, he came to our house to celebrate. He was even in the Nativity Play as one of the wiseman. He did a fine job, too. We didn't tell him he was actually a part of a practical joke my brother was going to be playing on one of his staunch republican friends later because we didn't want him to feel unappreciated....and that he was a big joke. Actually, my family really does like him so we were quite pleased...and I hope I still keep some of you as friends after that admission.

Jane loved being in the Nativity with her cousins and did a fine job as an angel. Well, except for that she kept falling over all the time. After the shepards came in and saw the angels and were "sore afraid", one of them dramatically fainted in fear. Jane found that amusing and did that too...over, and over, and over. Jane, the fallen angel. The rest of the night was all my favorite things, ending with my dad reading a christmas story while we all ate chocolates and drank bubbly. Allie of course wandered like the wild woman she is.

Jane loved her visit with Santa. Of course, I'm pretty sure that if it were Freddy Krueger and he offered a ginormous Kit-Kat she'd go sit on his lap...

Jane showing off her halo.

Allie showing off her cute smile, and a smashing hairstyle.

I'm pretty sure that Barack's appearance in the family nativity was my favorite moment from Christmas Eve. I'm also glad we weren't struck by lightning.

3. Christmas Day: Why is it that you pile presents in front of your kids and they end up fixating on that one dinky thing you got at a dollar store in order to fill their stockings? Everyone has stories like this, right? What is that about? Honestly. Our obssession of choice were the cheap Cinderella cell phones. Jane did like her other presents, and it was fun to watch her because she practically swooned over everything she opened (that's the kind of reaction that makes parents want to spoil their kids..) but in the end, she opted for the cell phone. Allie too. Actually, Christmas was completely lost on Allie. We had to convince her that her presents were more interesting than her SHOES, for crying out loud. No really. She started to bring every one of her shoes into the front room, and got really mad when we tried to distract her with Christmas stuff. Maybe she thought her shoes needed to be front and center for all the fun..I have no idea. But the day was wonderful and we spent the whole of it in our jammies.

Yay for Christmas Morning! Double yay for shoes!!

Jane and Jev making breakfast. Making is, of course, a relative term, as that's a Pillsbury explody-cannister thing you see on the counter.

The highlight for me that day was ...
(drum roll) DA DA DA DAAAHHH.......

4. My Present!! Whoever said true love can't come in the form of a vacuum does not know me at all. This lovely made it's debut after Jevan purposely spilled flour while making breakfast and told to me to get the broom out of the closet. And lo and behold, there she was: an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle! Ok really it was a Dyson DC25 Ball-Mounted HEPA Filtered Tri-Cyclonic Animal Vacuum. A real serious vacuum. I can't tell you how many curse words have streamed through my head (and sometimes made their was out of my mouth) as I used our old vacuum. When you have a dog that sheds like mine, you need serious firepower. Jasper would just look at our old vacuum wrong and it would lose all suction. Oh, how I hates it. But it is no more. Now I have this beauty. Works like a charm. (All except for the attachment which is a bugger to use...does anyone else have this problem?)

I now use this baby to vanquish dog hair and other such carpet villains.

5. SNOW! We played lots in the snow. We went sledding the day after Christmas and actually lasted a good 45 minutes on the hill. This means we may have actually broken even in the amount of time getting ready vs. being in the snow. A rare phenomenon. Allie, suprisingly, outlasted Jane, despite all the snow being thrown in her face from the sled as we flew down the hill. Tubing with my family was another highlight. We do the tubing hill up at soldier hollow where they tow you up to the top. Allie was sick so I had to stay home, but Jevan took Jane, Tasha and Thomas up for a good time.

Sledding! Allie loved it. We were surprised that Jane got cold before she did. Good times.

Jane posing for a picture. She loved to stockpile snowballs in her tube to throw at Jev on the ride up, the little stinker.

Thomas, Tasha, Jevan and Jane.

6. New Years: We have no pictures of this but suffice it to say that BOTH my children were STILL UP at 3:30AM...while most all other kids at the party slept. That was exciting.

7. And last but not least...REVENGE OF ALPHIE THE CHRISTMAS TREE! I'm not sure if it was our inability to remember to put water in our tree, or if it had heard some how that we had impaled some of its little forest creature friends on our cranberry decorations placed on it's distant cousin, but for some reason, by the end of Christmas, it had it out for us. It was so angry and so dry that if you just breathed on it, a shower of needles would fall on you. Would you like to know what it looks like when you try to take a tree like that out of the house? Oh, something like this:

Jev is convinced he got the better of this battle. That may have to do with the fact that he didn't have to clean it up...

Yeah... next year I have to remember to water the tree. There are seedless oranges, can't they make waterless trees?

We will find needles in places you wouldn't dream of from now 'till Memorial day. Just reminders of a good Christmas, I guess.

A Conversation on Christmas

2008-12-30T21:21:00.004-07:00

You can always tell when life gets busy 'round here because it's our little blog that suffers. Christmas was wonderful but I'm feeling a bit lazy, especially when it comes to uploading pictures, so I'm procrasting writing a Christmas report (plus we're the only ones who will want to read it anyway....let's face it). I love that I am starting off the new year by procrastinating. Go me.

But I wanted to make sure I recorded this. The following is a conversation we had with Jane at dinner a couple weeks ago:

Jane: "It's almost Christmas time!! I get to ask for presents!"

Me: "What are you going to ask for?"

Jane: (face droops..) "I.......don't know. Maybe a piano." (No doll for Jane. She doesn't play around with the small ticket items.)

Me: "Do know what Christmas is, Jane?"

Jane: "No."

Me: "It's Jesus' birthday. He was born on Christmas."

Jane: "OOOoooo! OOooooo! Do we get to have a party? Can I help blow out the candles?"

Me: "Jev?"

Jevan: (punt) "It's all you."

Me: "Um....it's sorta like a party, Jane. But everyone celebrates it. Everyone all over the world."

Jevan: (raises an eyebrow...)

Me: "Uh...I take that back. LOTS of people in the world do." (heh....who's world vision is a little narrow, eh? Sorry India....and the Middle East ....and most of Asia...*doh*)

Jane: "I really like parties!" (can't seem to get out of party mode) "Will Jesus be there? Can I help him open presents?"

Me: "Uh....not technically. He's not physically on earth right now."

Jane: (staring at me with quizzical look) "Pizzickly?" (thinks some more...) "Will there be cake? (still can't get out of party mode)

Me: "And do you know who His friend is?"

Jane: "Who?"

Me: "Santa Clause!"

Jane: "Oh, yeah. He has to stay out in the snow. If he comes inside, he'll melt."

Me: "Um...I think that's Frosty. Frosty the Snowman."

Jane: "Yeah. He's coming to the party too."

Jevan: "Um....wow. I have absolutely nothing to add to that."

And thus begins the process by which we completely screw up our kids. Amen.

Jevan's addition:

While we're talking about historical and fictional characters and how it can confuse our kids, I figured I would add this little exchange I had with Jane this morning. I was tickling her and she called for Em to come help her. Jane yelled that it was daddy, and I told her that I wasn't the one that was tickling her, but it was in fact the man that lives in my finger, Mr. Bimbo. (For those of you that haven't seen Muppet Treasure Island, you should watch it, but for context you can watch this video. Skip ahead to around 6:45 to get some laughs.) Anyway, she looked at me for half a second, then promptly announced that "Mr. Clara" was living in her finger and was going to tickle me. Touche.

Checkmate

2008-12-09T23:39:00.003-07:00

Raising kids is like a game of chess, except there are no pieces, no board, and the objective for the parents is not to win, but to help them survive childhood, whereas the objective for the children is simply to drive parents crazy. Ok, so it's not really like chess EXCEPT for the fact that for each and every move there is a counter-move. A few examples:

Move: In order to get attention at night, Allie learns to bodily fling herself out of the crib
Counter-move: Buy a crib prison

Move: Now trapped inside her prison at night, Allie begins taking off her pajamas and crying until we come in and put them back on.
Counter-move: Safety-pin her pajamas closed.

Move: Climb out of the porta-crib while traveling.
Counter-move: Turn that crib right upside down and laugh the night away.

So it's really been a stalemate up until now. But tonight, the game has changed, and Allie has a new move, and I can't think of a counter-move.

Move: Now trapped in her crib and unable to remove her clothing, Allie has taken the only logical next step - stuffing her binky down her pajamas and crying until you come take it out. I'm not sure how but it was literally at her ankle in her footed pajamas.
Counter-move: No idea, other than not giving her a binky and my friends, that is not an option.

Help?

Christmas Traditions (aka the spikey cranberry orange death balls)

2008-12-08T21:22:00.012-07:00

Weekends are truly fickle things. Very rarely am I able to balance relaxation with productivity, work with fun, and return to the office on Monday feeling great. This weekend was, by my exacting standards, just about perfect.

It might have something to do with me taking Friday off to help kick off the madness that is December. I spent the morning putting the lights on the house, and then in the afternoon we went and picked out a Christmas tree. Some of you may remember that last year we went out into the forest and chopped a tree down with our friends Tom & Sarah. Em has felt guilty about it for the entire year, even though I tried to explain to her that we had chopped down Alfie the Christmas Tree and that he was happy to be in our house, but it was kind of hard to argue that the tree's life was better once I had to put him in a dumpster...

Therefore, in order to atone for this misdeed, we bought a tree from Home Depot, where they are grown in a soulless tree farm in Oregon. But our penance didn't stop there. Oh no, we had to prove to the forest that we were truly sorry for killing one of their her native sons. So, Em decided to start a fun new family tradition (we're calling it Christmas for the Critters™) and make some bio-degradable animal-food decorations to take into the forest and decorate a tree. With our kids. And we took my sister. And her kids. I would add my sister's husband (aka my brother in-law) but he informed us that this idea was just too random and he was going to pass.

So Saturday morning we bought a 10-pound bag of bird seed (apparently it doesn't come in smaller bags, because most people either really like birds or are afraid of birdzilla...), a jar of peanut butter, and grabbed some of the pine cones that the kids collected and then, armed with mini-bagels, wonder bread, and Christmas cookie-cutters, began to make the ornaments.

Hazel, Chloe, Calvin and Jane work like Elves in the factory. Only there's no factory. Or toys. Ok so they're making decorations.

What emerged from this process was a few plate-fulls of gooey vaguely christmas ornament shaped messes that, while not particularly appetizing to me, I'm sure are proving to be very tasty to all of the forest denizens that used to live in the late Alfie's boughs. All of them were completely environmentally friendly, down to the Raphiella (or whatever the straw-like stuff is called) used to hang them.

The finished products. Cute, eh?

The one exception to this statement would be the spikey cranberry orange death balls. You see, toward the end of the ornament-making fun, Em realized that we had a bunch of leftover cranberries from Thanksgiving, and thought they would add just the right dash of color to the otherwise drab collection of ornaments. In addition, we had some clementines sitting around that would be really pretty. (side note: is there anything better than a clementine? They're one of my favorite parts about Christmas.) So, she decided that it would be a really cool ornament if she used toothpicks to stick the cranberries onto the clementines. Unfortunately, the finished product looked more akin to a ninja-chef's weapon than something you'd hang on a tree for a deer to eat, but when I pointed this out I was informed that 'deer have very sensitive lips and they will be able to avoid the toothpicks and get to the orange.'

There is no appropriate response to that statement. I've spent last few days thinking about it, and I can't come up with anything.

Why is it that clementines are so much more deadly than regular oranges? When asked questions like this I typically try to break the word down to its roots. In this case, 'clemen' would be referring to Roger Clemens, who had a wicked fastball and was known to throw at batters' heads from time to time, and 'tines' are obviously the sharp part of the spork, so clearly we see that clementines are dangerous, pokey projectiles.

Thus prepared for our decorative activity, we headed off to the canyon to find the right tree. As it turned out, it was about 1:00 and past nap time, so the 'perfect' tree quickly turned into the 'closest and most accessible' tree. We trekked down a trail about 50 feet, found a likely candidate, and quickly turned it into a squirrel, bird, and deer 7-11. The kids had a blast, and I enjoyed pointing out that we would be able to return in the spring and count the bodies of all the dead creatures that ate the spikey cranberry orange death balls.

The decorating crew in front of their work.

Hang a blueberry bagel on the highest bough...

The finished product did in fact look rather festive, and despite all of my heckling and good-natured ribbing I had a really good time doing it.

I love the maimed wonderbread man in the background...

Here's a close-up of the SCODB after a hummingbird tried to get some of the orange...

So after we got back from decorating the forest tree, we came back home and decorated our tree. We make a whole evening of it, and while it is a bit challenging with Allie undoing decorations as fast as we put them up, I really enjoy it. Christmas music playing in the background, fire glowing in the fireplace, chocolate orange sticks and these really tasty butterscotch gingerbread cookies to eat... all happy things for me.

Allie giving the camera her 'cool' face, while Jane takes yet another bite of cookie dough. I'm pretty sure she ate as much dough as she made...

We ended the day by reading "Bear Stays Up for Christmas" to Jane under the Christmas tree and drinking bubbly by the fireplace. It was one of those days that make you smile when you look back on it. Thanks Emmy!

Turkey Times are Good Times

2008-12-02T23:52:00.005-07:00

The phrase for Thanksgiving for our family this year can be summed up in the following phrase: Crazy-fun, complete and utter chaos. I wish I had pictures, but alas, I was a slacker. It starts the day before Thanksgiving with the first annual Pie Day with Jevan's sisters. Imagine 5 women, 12 pies, one galette (don't worry, I didn't know what one was either, but it was beautiful and tasty), pretzel dessert, other various side dishes...and ONE kitchen. Imagine that all together...all at once. Add in, just for fun, 6 kids under the age of 7. Voila! Pie Day! It was hillarious...and really fun. If anyone knows Jevan's sisters, you would know they are to cooking what Mozart was to music (yes, Stephy, even you...the pumpkin pies DON'T count). I just play along, and they help me...a lot. They are also highly entertaining. No one lost any limbs, or had any serious burns, and I came home with all my pies, and all my kids. Yahoo!

Next up, East Canyon Resort with all of Jevan's extended family for the weekend. This would not really have fit in to the crazy chaos category if not for one little (and very loved) creature we call Allie. Here's the equation: 1 Allie +1 Condo + us+5 more -minus space + many interesting things right at eye level+cold weather and not a ton to do outside+no sleep = Captain Destructo! Holy Cow. Allie was a veritable hurricane. We love her, but she was everywhere and into everything. To make things more exciting, we had brought up her porta-crib and after putting her to bed the first night, quickly discovered, as she came ambling down the stairs, that she could climb out of it. We battled for a while, trying to come up with some way to make her sleep, but she was too wired to fall asleep, and would not stay still for the life of her. We would be up there a few more nights so we had to come up with a solution. Jev's mom had one for us. Before you report us to child services yet again, let it be known that it worked, and Allie slept and is none the worse for the wear...it might come back to bite us in her twenties. Better keep adding money to her crazy jar. We tipped the portacrib upside down and Allie slept under it. Yup, like a cage. It gave me guilt but I had no idea what to do at that point.

The rest of the trip consisted of lots of game playing, movie watching and no sleep. Oh, and WAY too much eating. I think I can feel all the pecan pie I ate in the extra wide swing of my backside when I walk. Add one big bootie to the aforementioned equation.

I think both girls really enjoyed the Thanksgiving feast although Jane mostly just went for the rainbow jell-o. I went for the mashed potatoes. Allie went for the pie. Jevan went... away when I asked who wanted to clean up Allie after dinner.

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for family. I am lucky to have lots of family around on both sides and I love them all (even if we do complain about how time consuming they all are :)..we never mean it). I am grateful for my mom and dad. I'm grateful for Jevan's family where I feel completely loved and comfortable, as comfortable as I am with my own brothers and sisters. I'm grateful for my own little family...for my little girls...for how cute and funny they are. For Jevan, for how completely devoted he is to us. We're lucky. I'm lucky. I'm thankful.

Definitely a Spooky Snowman

2008-11-06T15:24:00.006-07:00

Hooray for our first snow day!! I can't tell you the size of my smile when I woke up to such a thick blanket of white outside. I know I am completely crazy, but there is just something about looking out at a snowy day in a warm cozy house, knowing you can go play outside to your heart's content and come in for a steamy cup of hot chocolate. I get all giddy. Most people think I've lost a few marbles....(although I don't think I was given marbles, I think I got bouncy balls. Lately
it feels like thoughts and information bounce into my brain, then right back out again, just as quickly.)
The girls were all crazy about the snow too - I just about strapped Jane down in her booster seat to get her to eat breakfast. I had to keep reassuring her that the snow would not melt while she was eating her banana. I decided we needed to take advantage of this snow day and do it up right.

After breakfast and some quick chores, Jane and I made some pumpkin bread to bake up a little later - one for us and one for a neighbor. We then started the laborious task of putting on snow gear. Holy cow - I'm glad that I didn't know that it would take FOREVER to get us all fully poofed up or I might have had second thoughts on going outside. After 2 potty stops and several redressings, we finally had all our gear on. Allie, however, was missing boots and gloves as I hadn't bought any for her yet, so I tried to improvise. After pulling on two pairs of socks, Jane's shoes and a pair of my fleece gloves, Allie resembled a creature out of Frankenstein Goes to Antartica (not a book yet, but there's a good idea someone can run with...). Finally, we ventured outside.

For all the work, it lasted a glorious 20 minutes. But we made every minute count. We made snow angels (Jane has been practicing all summer and it was the first thing she wanted to do), threw snowballs for Jasper, and attempted a snowman. We had to build him hastily, as Allie would come and body slam him every few minutes. We had to think fast when it came to his face, so he got plastic doughnuts for eyes (scavenged from Jane's play food), a stick for a nose, a scarf and the crown from the pile of halloween stuff waiting to be put away. The result? Um...he looked a bit freaky. Jane told me we made a "spooky snowman". We named him Spook. Just as we finished, all happy feelings went away, as Allie had now lost both gloves and one shoe and was rolling around in the snow trying to stand up. Jane's hands were cold and she started to howl. Time to go in.

We all had hot chocolate and pumpkin bread warm from the oven, and after lunch, both girls took long naps. Ahhhhhh...so heavenly. It was one of those happy, comical days not to be forgotten. I love snow days.

Halloweeeeen Festivitieeeees

2008-11-03T14:40:00.015-07:00

First off, thank you everyone for your sage words of advice on our crazy sleeper. I too am a huge believer in the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book (and I'm not too bright not to have thought about it sooner...) but we weren't too sure Allie would actually SURVIVE the days of training it would have most likely taken. After a couple of bad falls from the crib, her obsession with climbing on things in her room and playing with the space heater we have in there, along with the tranquilizer gun threats from her dad, I didn't argue when Jevan wanted to try the tent. However it may appear to you, it is heaven for us, and Allie was used to it after the first couple days. She is SO MUCH happier now that she has naps back again and is going to bed before 11pm. Things around here are bliss again (okay...as close to bliss as we ever get) and I must admit I love the tent.

Now onto happier topics...HALLOWEEN! I love this time of year. I love fall...almost as much as winter...I love the crisp air and the colors...and the fall holidays like halloween and thanksgiving. Both involve eating lots of stuff that isn't at all good for you, so I'm a big fan. Also, all holidays are more fun now that I have a child old enough to start understanding them. This halloween was great because Jane actually "got" it. I tried to take advantage of this and do some fun things with the kiddos.

Here's our October Halloween Festivities in pictures:

Thanksgiving Point's Scarecrow Festival with our friends and their little ones.

All the kids posing (or not so much) with the scarecrows.

Stinkers! But cute ones...

Jevan's little sister Tasha was working there as a face painter. Isn't she beautiful?

The main attraction at the festival were all the big bouncy play thingys. There were not only bouncy castles, but snakes, sharks, worms, whales..you name it. I won't tell you the comments coming from Jevan as Jane emerged from the different bouncy animals in the area where their bums should be.

Jane emerging from a shark's mouth...

A few days before Halloween we carved pumpkins with Jevan's family and Jane's cute cousins. His family has some serious talent when it comes to carving. Jane said the pumpkins all looked "really, really mad."

Jane posing with our pumpkins.

Jane was Alice in Wonderland for Halloween. I think she made a cute one.

We tried to teach her to say "Goodness!" all the time, but it didn't work so well.

Jane's first costume party with little friends from our ward.

Look at all these kids! The mom who hosted this party was a brave woman, I say.

HALLOWEEN!

We went to the neighborhood Trunk-or-Treat.

Jane is Alice, Allison is the Chesshire Cat, and I'm the Queen of Hearts. Cheesy but fun.

Allie was a good Chessire Cat..just like in the movie - she was either being darling or very naughty.

Our witchy trunk. Since I'm in YWs in our ward, I was in charge of the YW trunk.

They came up with the idea and helped...cute huh?

The Alpha Strikes Back

2008-11-01T20:28:00.011-06:00

In order to truly appreciate this post, please turn on your speakers.

The time had come for me to take matters into my own hands. Here is a sequence of events from Friday night / Saturday morning:

2:00 - Allie wakes up and comes into the room; Em goes in.
2:45 - Em has finally rocked her back to sleep.
4:00 - Allie comes back into the room; I go in.
4:30 - Allie has not yet fallen asleep, but has stopped trying to escape (as I am sitting in the rocking chair giving her the evil eye). She wanders aimlessly around her crib for the next half-hour; neither of us has slept yet.
5:00 - Allie begins unzipping her pajamas and crying in an attempt to crack my resolve; I let the half-naked singing stinker cry.
5:15 - In a new and increasingly cunning tactic, Allie starts throwing her binkie overboard and crying. I realize that this is not a good sign.
5:30 - I raise the white flag of surrender, having not slept nor caused Allie to sleep in an hour and a half.
6:00 - Allie comes back into our room.
6:30 - 8:00 - Em makes a bed in Allies room and attempts to snuggle her to sleep. Em dozes lightly while Allie runs around the room, mocking our exhaustion and frustration with cute little pseudo-words and baby babble.

At this point as a parent but, you have to make some important decisions.

How do we handle this new phase in our child's life?
What kind of products are available to help us out?
Is it legal to use a tranquilizer on a child?

What I discovered was better than a tranquilizer. Better than a rope tied to a child's leg. In my opinion, it's almost cooler than having a child that just sleeps without any kind of restraint. I give you my Death Star:

"That's no moon... it's a sleep station!" - Obi-Em Kenobi

"Witness the power of this fully armed and operational sleeping station!" - Emperor Dad

That's right, my daughter now sleeps in a dome. She's like the bubble boy from Seinfeld. I'm pretty sure that a determined and enraged wolverine couldn't escape from this thing.

"But dad, I was just going to go to Toshi station to pick up some power converters!" - Young Allie Skywalker

Am a I bad father? Perhaps. But I know I'm a better father to my children when they aren't wandering the house at 4:00 in the morning and keeping me from sleeping.

Oh, and mom, please put the money you had reserved for my counseling into an interest-bearing account; I'll need to roll all of that into the fund I'm starting for Allie.

The Dreaded Thud

2008-10-30T22:44:00.005-06:00

It's a sound every mother dreads. You've just put your toddler down for a nap and your 3 year old is contently watching Alice in Wonderland for the forty-millionth time, and you are happily in the kitchen with the laptop, pandering away precious quiet time reading up on why MSN says you are not trendy because you don't know that "belt loops and roomy pleats" on knit dresses "bring a fun, unexpected cool to a flared skirt." Dang it. Now you are neither fun nor unexpectedly cool. Just the average expected cool. Suddenly you hear a dull thud. You sit for a second, waiting for the cry which must be surely coming from the toddler's room, nervous about head injury. But then, there is no cry. Wait for it....wait for it...and then, the door opens and you hear the pattering of little feet. Your stomach drops. No...No...NO! She's learned how to get out of her crib!!! Serious panic. Suddenly she is staring you in the face. You sit, stunned. You resist the urge to cry as you realize what this means....the end of your sanity.

Yes, folks. That was me a couple days ago. I am now in an all out war with Allie to get her to stay in her crib and sleep. I am not ready to give up naptime. I am not ready to fight through bedtime. Hear that, Allie? I am NOT READY!! So it is now almost 11pm and I am venting. I have talked to all sorts of people trying to figure out what to do. Tonight I tried my friend's suggestion, who got her idea off of Super Nanny (which I haven't ever watched but now I'm thinking I should...) who said to just put her back in her crib every time she launched herself out. Don't talk to her, don't really acknowledge her, just put her back in her crib and close the door. It sounded good at the time. It actually worked at naptime. I only had to put her back in her bed 6 times.

Tonight? We did battle. Serious battle. It was a face-off. Like Hulk Hogan meets....a prize fighting Oompa Loompa (cause I'm big...and have long blond hair...and she's short and has many Oompa Loompa-like attributes...especially when covered with spagetti sauce..the resemblance is uncanny).

Guess how many times I put her back in her crib before I started calling my life-lines? Just guess. Nope, more. Nope, more. Actually, I don't really know, I stopped counting at 34. No joke. Thirty-four freaking times! AAAAAHHHHHH! Finally, Jevan comes home from a church meeting and puts in another few minutes on the battlefront. But this time, the Oompa Loompa was up against...Sasquatch. And he won. I think it was the combination of him getting really mad and scaring the pants off her, and she being really tired as it was now after 10pm. He says it's because she knows he's "alpha." Apparently, in our family we like to play Call of the Wild.

Honestly, what do I do? She is too little to go without naps and to play these games at night. She needs sleep. Time for a toddler bed or train her to stay in crib...can that be done? Honestly. Who voted me in as "Mom"? I'm not any good at this. I call for impeachment...of myself. There's some change I can believe in.

Darn body parts...

2008-10-16T23:01:00.006-06:00

So today, while driving in the car, Jane tells me her tummy hurts. She has a history of getting carsick so I pull out my usual response of "Just look out the window, sweetheart. It should go away in a little bit." Most of the time, that does it, but sometimes we have adventures out on the side of the road and I'm washing the car seat cover once again. Is there really anything that smells worse than throw-up? I really don't think so....except for maybe the smell emanating from the rogue sippy-cup with pink milk in it that you gave Jane a week before, against your better judgment, knowing full well that it might disappear into the void of the basement.

Anyway, after I tell Jane to look out the window, she is silent for several minutes and I can tell the wheels are turning in her little noggin. Then her little voice pipes up:

Jane: "Mom, my tummy still hurts. Can I take it off?"

Me: "Huh? Take your tummy off?"

Jane: "Yeah. Can I just pull it off?"

Me: "No, Love. It's part of your body. Your tummy is inside your skin and you can't take your skin off."

Jane: "Please! Why can't I take my skin off? Can I take it off if it gets itchy?"

We then launch into this whole discussion about how you need to keep all body parts attached to your body. I tried to tell her if we took off a limb every time it hurt, we'd all be in big trouble. But you know, it sure does make sense. The tag in your sweatshirt bugs you so you take it off. Your shoes fit too small, so you take them off. You get a bad headache, you pull off your head. There are lots of times I think I would like to be separated from my head, and not always just when it hurts. I think we should be able to remove body parts, fix them, and put them back. I think I'll take it up with Heavenly Father when I die. For now, I just have to tell Jane to put up with her upset tummy...and plead with her not to lose her lunch because I sure don't want to take the darn carseat apart again!

My dedication page....

2008-10-09T21:41:00.003-06:00

When I read books, I really like to read the dedication page. I like to read the ways in which authors express their gratitude to those who helped them through the laborious process of writing a book. I also like that their books are never dedicated to people with normal names; very seldom are they dedicated to just "Bill" or "my sister, Susan". It's usually to someone like "Barry 'Barrel Bottom' Bishop who gave me inspiration as well as donuts." Something like that, anyway.

This past week has been a crazy one, and I had a lot of people help me through the laborious process of coming back to the land of the living. I think I am starting to have some color in my face and I can walk up the stairs now without feeling like I hiked Everest. Only without the good views, just the kitchen.

I cannot even come close to describing how LOVED I have felt this past week. Really, really loved. If you are ever in doubt that you are loved, have something traumatic happen to you (although I don't recommend my route - go for something cool like a hip dislocation after wrestling a large animal to save a small child - it's more heroic and involves a lot less blood, which is a good thing, believe me). I have so many people to thank. So, here's my dedication page.

Thanks to Jevan for not letting me die - and still thinking I'm cute even when I look like something from the Land of the Living Dead.

Thanks to all of Jevan's family for taking care of my kids in crisis time and for always checking up on me. I LOVE all my commune dwellers.

Thanks to my family for all the phonecalls, flowers and good books.

Thanks to all my friends (my blog friends too!) for your notes and phonecalls expressing love and concern. I love my friends. Marie and Maris, thanks for taking my kiddos. You both always go above and beyond the call of good friendship. I can't thank you enough.

Thanks to my ward friends for the phonecalls, dinners and treats. It meant so much and it was so nice not to have to worry about dinner.

Finally, thanks to my wonderful mom who spent the better part of week at my house, making sure I got lots of rest and good food. She is a super star and I think Allie is more attached to her than she is to me now.

Thanks, everyone.

Oh, and thanks to Stephanie Meyer who kept me entertained with vampires as I was having blood fed through my veins. Ironic, no?

Grateful

2008-10-06T21:43:00.003-06:00

Disclaimer: This post might be somewhat sentimental and sappy, but I (and this is Jevan, by the way. You can typically tell it's me because I spell the word "weird" correctly, but rather than make you hunt through the post searching for that particular grammatical cairn I'll just get it out of the way) reserve the right to do that every once in a while. It's been a rather eventful week here, one of those weeks that really makes you think about everything and do a little self-examination. I'm typically not good at introspective thought; I tend to think about things like how, given different circumstances, I would have been Batman, only cooler. But today, I am going to focus only on the important stuff. So, without further adieu, here is a list of things for which I am grateful:

I am grateful that Jane can speak: This might seem odd, especially for any of you that have spent much time around Jane, given her propensity for non-stop talking. In this situation, however, it was indeed a blessing. Em was at Young Women's so I was putting the kids to bed. Allie was exhausted so I decided to put Jane in the tub while reading Allie stories and singing her songs. I told Jane to make sure she turned the water off when it got full, something that I know she can do. At least I thought she could do. (At this point, I know you're thinking "I'm sure glad my husband doesn't do anything that stupid when I'm not around." Trust me on this - you're wrong. We all do stupid things like that. And they usually work. You only know about the few things that DON'T work) Anyway, I'm sitting in the chair, rocking Allie, who has fallen asleep, when Jane knocks politely on the door (a real no-no), opens it up, and innocently asks me "Dad, which way is off?" Fortunately she came in before the tub overflowed, so a crisis was averted.
I am grateful for modern medicine (part 1): We found out on Wednesday that Em was going to miscarry. We kind of had a suspicion that something wasn't right, as this pregnancy didn't quite feel the same as the others (no nausea, no real symptoms, etc.), so it wasn't entirely a surprise. This is also the reason we weren't broadcasting to the world that Em was pregnant. I am grateful for modern medicine in that we were able to know that it was coming and prepare for it to happen. The doctor gave Em a prescription and told her what to expect, so at least we went into the ordeal with what we thought were open eyes.
I am grateful for modern medicine (part 2): Not entirely knowing what to expect, we decided that Sunday would be the day for Em to take the prescription and... I can't find the right words, but you can guess. Anyway, I had planned on watching the kids and supporting as necessary. Well, not getting into the gruesome details, suffice it to say that by the time Em had passed out for the third time and was completely unresponsive for a good 5 minutes I decided to make my very first call to 911. The paramedics were there in less than a minute. They took a look at her and decided to take her right in. They loaded a disoriented and confused Em onto a stretcher and took her for what has to be the shortest ride in an ambulance ever (.3 miles). Literally across the street. Awesome.
I am grateful for family (part 1): So, in a panic, I called Stephanie again and asked her to come back and watch the kids. She, of course, dropped everything and came rushing. The poor girls were at this point distraught at seeing their mom carted off on a stretcher; I was too. I headed to the hospital and went to find Em. At this point, she looked pretty much like a corpse (albeit the most beautiful corpse I have ever been married to...). Come to find out she had lost about 40% of her blood, which even in my non-doctor ignorance I know is a Bad Thing. They decided they needed to do an immediate 'd and c' (look it up if you're curious, but this is a guy-friendly blog and I can't break one of the cardinal laws of Guydom by talking about gynecological procedures in anything other than vague terms and acronyms). My mom was there for moral support, which was wonderful.
I am grateful for irony in a time of trauma: While the doctors were running in and out, running tests, pumping Em full of IV fluid, and all the other fun stuff that was happening, the funny little paramedic from the Fire Truck came over to me and told me he had to give me a pamplet. I asked what was in it, and he said it basically said that the fire department would not tell any of our neighbors that they had come to our house and taken Em away on a gurney. Right, because parking a 40-foot fire engine outside of my house on a cul-de-sac and sending 4 paramedics in to carry Em out was so discreet.
I am grateful for modern medicine (part 3): So, finally they got Em into the surgery center, where the medical staff quickly performed the surgery and immediately got the bleeding to stop. She took 2 units of blood that night and 2 more again this morning and is finally at home, snoring away next to me. I can't help but think that if we lived in the middle ages or were Scientologists she would likely not be alive.
I am grateful for family (part 2): My family had the girls all day, Em's mom was down in the afternoon and is going to come over tomorrow morning to help out, and all of our family members have been very helpful over the past few days. We love you all!
I am grateful for neighbors and friends. Throughout the day, people from the neighborhood have called and asked what they could do to help. So nice to have people around that are concerned about your well-being.
I am grateful for perspective (part 1): This was never really a life-threatening ordeal for Em, so I didn't really thought that she wouldn't make it. I can't imagine what it must be like for people that see their loved ones go in to a procedure and not know if they're going to see them alive again. That being said, I had a real moment of panic when I gave her one last kiss before she was wheeled off. It's those times that make me realize how much she means to me. I'm glad she's ok, even if her snoring does make it tough for me to concentrate.
I am grateful for perspective (part 2): With all of the additional hoopla around the process, it isn't lost on us that a miscarriage is a tough thing to go through. I think we'll have a little more time to grieve and go through that process once things calm down. That being said, I am grateful that there were no complications and that we'll be able to have more kids in the future.
I am grateful for my 3 beautiful girls: I love them all.
I am grateful for sleep: And thus concludes my post.

October Madness

2008-10-02T10:41:00.011-06:00

Great News - It's not too late to enter this year's October "Madness" pool. Here are the brackets as they currently stand:

Just mark your picks and email them to your Congressman by 5:00 PM today. The entry fee is 20% of your retirement savings and is non-refundable if you lose; unless of course you bet $25 billion or more, in which case you might be bailed out if you smile real nice and say pretty please. The pool winner gets 65% of the pool and a $25 million severance check. Pool counsel, the lobbyists and various other influential hangers-on get 35%. The loser gets a third-position deed of trust on a no-money-down, half-built $800,000 condo in Fresno owned by some guy whose livelihood entails front-line delivery of circular Italian-American food products.

Just checkin'.....

2008-09-30T15:59:00.003-06:00

Sometimes, just sometimes, you get a glimpse of that little tender heart that resides in every child's heart. It's those little times that make your crazy mom life worth it.

This morning, as I waited outside of Jane's little dance class, desperately trying to entertain Allie with books on my lap, Jane suddenly burst through the door, ran over to me and put her hand on my shoulder. She looked at me with this loving yet concerned look on her face, and said in her little pixie voice, "Mom? Are you okay out here?" I was stunned. I stammered, "Um...yeah, Jane. I'm just fine....are you?" "Yup!" she exclaimed and went dancing back through the door. The teacher looked out at me, just as surprised as I was. I just shrugged and got up and closed the door again.

What the? Could she suddenly sense how difficult it was to keep Allie entertained, to keep her from pulling every book from the shelf, or knocking on the door, trying to bust into the dance class, or trying on every pair of shoes she could possible find (she is so obsessed with shoes - if she doesn't get some weird foot disease, I'll be surprised..)? Perhaps she could sense my slow progression towards insanity caused by days upon days of listening to "The Greatest Hits of Dragon Tales" in the car? Or, could she just have wanted to make sure I was happy and not feeling left out while she got to dance with balloons and hula hoops, and having her own little shape mat to sit on? Whatever it was, it completely made my day. Sometimes it seems that as a mom, you spend all your days making sure you've met all the needs of your kids, making sure they are happy and secure. How wonderful to know that I have someone watching out for me too - making sure I'm okay out here. Love you, Jane.

Family Update

2008-09-29T15:55:00.006-06:00

Wow. I just realized I haven't done a family journal post since January. What a lazy bum I am. I figured it was about time, now that Jane has turned 3 and Allie is 18 months. A lot has happened since the beginning of the year! Fortunately, most of it I have already blogged, but I haven't covered the smaller family details and the development of the kids the past year.

Let's start with overall family stuff. We have really big news we have yet to really share with anyone (except my mom and my best friend, Sarah). We are having another baby! No at all expected (it seems to work that way with us - either we just don't get it or Heavenly Father knows we would never work up the nerve to get pregnant if we could chose when it happened....). Anyway, after a few long deep breaths, I think we are both starting to get excited. I go in for my first doctor appointment in a few days. I hope all is okay. We don't know whether we want a boy (because it would be fun to have a mixed family...and Jevan wouldn't be so outnumbered...and would have someone to really wrestle) or a girl (because we can do girls - we actually, sort-of get them...at least, it's not as itimidating to me...) We don't find out the gender for a few more months though.

So that's the big news. It really is big because we actually turn into truly a FAMILY. One where the parents are finally outnumbered. It almost seems to feel like it will send us into a totally new phase in life. It DOES send us out to buy a new car. And maybe a new house, depending on what happens with Jevan's job. He has a couple of opportunities right now and each one sends us somewhere different. His current employer, McCann Erickson, has a possible opening in Seattle that he has told his boss he is interested in. We just don't know if and when it would actually happen, but both of us are excited about that prospect. If we can handle the rain. But change is always exciting to me. The other opportunity is with the company that has been courting him off and on for over a year now. They have come to him again with another job, a good paying one but maybe not as exciting to start out with. He hopes if he takes the job, he can eventually move into something more suited for him. The fun thing about that job is that it is in Orem, which gives us a shot at being able to live in Heber. I have always wanted to live there. Houses are super cheap right now because the country is in financial crisis. Good ol' George Bush has really outdone himself now. The housing market has plummeted, sending homeowners, mortgage brokers, banks and now practically all of Wall Street into bankruptcy. It's nuts. Everyone is very worried. In November, we vote for a new president; either Barak Obama or John McCain. Jevan says if John McCain wins, we can go live in Canada. I like that idea and secretly hope he does. Okay, not really. That would be a huge disaster. Go Obama!

Let's see....oh and in July, I was called into Young Womens again, as first counselor...which has been fun but a heck of a lot of time. The president is also young with a toddler, about Allie's age, and we both feel like we fly by the seat of our pants most of the time. Jevan hasn't been released from Activities Committee Chair (and I think, neither have I) so we both work at that too. Sometimes it gets a bit overwhelming and I complain a lot, but mostly it is workable. I just wish this ward had more responsible people so those that really try to do our jobs aren't stretched so thin. We also think our bishop is headed for the nuthouse, but that is an entirely different story indeed.

So let's talk kids. Allison is a total crack-up. She is getting funnier, cuter, and more lovey by the day. She has started to go to most people more readily( for a while there, she was a complete momma's girl), and has definitely found her favorites - Aunt Andrea and my mom. She gives a lot more loves that she used to and giggles all the time now, especially when everyone around her is laughing - she doesn't want to be left out of the fun. She is growing taller and leaner and just cuter every day. She has finally started to keep clippies in her hair - for months she has looked like a complete wild child because she would take them out almost immediately. It has been so frustrating, especially because she looks so cute with her hair done!

She is so much happier these days, for the most part, but she definitely throws her fair share of fits, mostly because she has very few words and a very independent personality. That combination is sure to blow up from time to time. She was really tough a few months ago, but I think (I hope) we are getting out of that stage. When she does get upset, she just lays flat on her face on the floor and wails. It's kinda funny. At least she doesn't scream and kick. We have only had one incident of a major breakdown. It was when, in desperation to save her clothes because she will NEVER keep a bib on, we tried to put one of those full shirt bibs on her. We thought she was going to pop blood vessels in her head she screamed so long and loud. She screamed through almost of all of dinner time. We had never seen her like that, and haven't tried the bib since. Sheesh.

She is still super tough, hardly ever crying when she falls down or hurts herself. She has more words now that include: thank you - "dank yooo", all through - "all trooo", bathtime - "baaaa tie", shoe - "sheew", jasper "daaah dehr" and of course, Mama and Daddy. Sometimes we think she says other words too, but none of those are consistent yet. She is still the messier eater this side of the mississippi but at least she isn't picky when it comes to food, and we'll take that over being messy any day of the week.

She is also very interested in reading books now. It's her second favorite pasttime. She tries to get you to read her as many bedtime stories as she possibly can, and most of the time, I am persuaded to read her far too many. She still won't snuggle until she falls asleep but at least she will keep still for a little bit while I sing to her. I love that.

**(I am writing this while the kids nap. Jane just got up and came down to the computer room. She loves to type her name on the computer because she can spell it now. Pretty cool. Here she goes.

JANE
ALLISON

Thanks Jane. Okay, back to Allie. Allie's very favorite thing in the world right now (besides her binky, I suppose) are shoes. She is OBSESSED with shoes. When she gets up in the morning, the first thing she wants to do is put on her shoes. She usually has tried on at least 7 pairs (and not always her own shoes) by 10am. When you change her diaper, she always wants to be holding a shoe. When we go to Jane's dance class, she wants to try all the little girl shoes left by the door. It is hillarious. She loves to get her own shoes out of the drawer and has a total fit if she can't find or reach the pair she wants. She loves to bring shoes to everyone, even strangers that show up at the door. You're selling a coupon book today? Oh, well, here, have my mom's shoes. I wonder if this will be a life long obsession....

After shoes and books, I have to say Allie's other love of her life is water. She loves to play in water. She loves bathtime and will almost completely submerge herself, while most kids her age hate getting water on their face or hair. I honestly think there is more water outside the tub than in it by the time bathtime is over. She is an all out crazy woman at the swimming pool. She has no idea that she can't swim on her own and will jump in at any second. She wants to swim so badly, she tries to peel your hands off her body. A couple times I have let her sink under when she has done that, but when I bring her up, she just looks a little dazed and then starts right back in flailing and flapping in the water, trying to get away. Jevan's favorite pool trick is tossing her to me, chucking her up 30 feet in the air, so high you can hear an audible, fearful, "oooohhh" from everyone around us at the pool. Allie loves it and gets mad when we finally stop. I tell you what, though, it sure makes me glad we don't have a pool - I'm not sure how long Allie would survive with how unfearful and crazy she is around water.

Allie is just so much fun. She is a true daredevil, afraid of practically nothing. She gives the best "loves" and is becoming such a snuggler - I can't tell you how much I love that. She is smart, independent thinker and we are just waiting for her to start spitting out more words. I absolutely live for her little giggle - she is just darling.

Jane is just getting so darn big! Where did my little baby go? I can't believe I have a 3 year old. Jane is just constant entertainment. She continues to be an amazing little talker - she sounds like all the little 5 and 6 year olds I know....except, she is still thinking on a 3 year old level. She loves people, especially little girls her age. Whenever we go to the park and she sees ANY little kid playing there, regardless of whether we know them or not, she instantly yells, "Look, Mom! My friend is here!" She immediately goes right up to them and starts talking and playing. She makes friends everywhere she goes, regardless of age.

Jane even has a couple of imaginary friends. They are named Jane (creativity might not be her strong point) and Vallie...or maybe Valley? I have no idea, but that's her name. She always needs to know where Vallie is at all times. Vallie comes everywhere with us, to the store, to dance class, to church. Vallie even has to be strapped in the middle seat belt whenever we go anywhere in the car. She also has to sit on Jane's lap when we read books. Jane talks to Vallie a lot. The other "Jane" just makes a cameo appearance from time to time, I guess when Vallie isn't around. It really makes me laugh. I love to watch her interact with her imaginary friend - especially because it so reminds me of me when I was little. I loved imaginary friends, although, unlike Jane, I think I made mine up because I was so shy and needed kids to talk to.

Jane has now added movies to her list of obsessions, second only to books. She always wants to watch movies and I have to really be firm in how much I let her watch them. She got Dumbo for her birthday and will watch it over and over. Books are still her favorite - we read to her at naps and bedtime, and if we're still in bed when she gets up in the morning, she will bring in a huge stack for us to read to her in our bed. This is usually Janey and Daddy time because I try to be out exercising before Jevan leaves for work.

Jane has also always wanted a bike and finally got one for her 3rd birthday. She loves to ride her bike too. We are still working on helping her to learn how to brake; any kind of hill completely freaks her out - she doesn't want to go too fast. But she's learning, and with a little practice, she'll be great. She is a pretty determined little thing and doesn't give up too easily. She mastered how to pump herself on a swing the other day, all by herself. She is really good at it now. I thought that was something kids didn't get until they were 5 or 6!!

Jane is a tender, loving little soul too. She is always telling me she loves me, (and Allie and Daddy) at random times throughout the day. It melts my heart. She is also always concerned for mine and other's well being. In fact, I have a good case in point that happened today. This morning, while I was waiting for her to be done with dance class, she suddenly opened the door and came out (halfway through dance class), put her hand on my shoulder, looked at me tenderly and said in her little pixie voice, "Mom? Are you okay out here?" I was stunned. "Um..yeah, Jane. I'm just fine...are you?" "Yup!" She said, and danced back into class. What the? The teacher looked out at me, just as surprised as I was that Jane had to suddenly leave class to check on her mom. Maybe she thinks I am going crazy and has to check on me every once in a while...I would too if I were her and had a mom like me!! Anyway, it was really sweet...and random. I think I am going to have to post that story, come to think of it.

Here are the other things Jane loves: all her cousins and spending time with them, making up her own little songs about the most random things, macaroni and cheese, strawberry milk (she wants pink milk at least 3 times a day), her teddy bear, helping me with the credit card machine at the store check out, CARS (she loves to put the keys in and pretend to drive, loves to push all the buttons, turn on all the overhead lights, put on the flashers and windshield wipers; she already knows how old she has to be to drive and will tell everyone, "I get to drive when I get to be big and sixteen!" She keeps hoping they will change the age to something more reasonable, like eight.), going to the park, going to nursery, and just being with people in general. She is just so social.

I love my girls...my little family! Jevan and I feel very content right now, I think! That's all I can think of for now....

You know the party was a success when...

2008-09-21T14:37:00.015-06:00

So Jane turned 3 last week. It was while Jevan was in Italy so we decided not to tell her it was her birthday until we were able to have him home and have a party. However, a sneaky nursery leader at my ward foiled all our plans and told Jane she already had her birthday. She was a little confused but ran out to meet me at the end of class yelling "Mom, Mom, I already HAD my birthday! I'm three and big enough! It was my birthday last night!" (for Jane, anything in the past was "last night." Lunch 3 hours ago was "last night".) How dare the nursery leader be honest and not let me deceive my own child!

So, anyway, we celebrated Jane's 3rd birthday with a bike parade at a nearby park. Despite my reservations, I think it turned out really fun. Here's why I think it was a success:

1. There were no bandaids used at any point and only a few tears shed over random decoration issues. No one was physically or psychologically damaged as far as I know. This is always good when it comes to toddler parties, no?

2. You had family and friends come from far and wide with their little ones. Our crazy friend Jim actually biked to the party with his kids. Mind you, he lives in Sugarhouse, over 70 blocks away. With a few stops, it took him 2 hours! We gave him one of the parade medals because he was so tough. I say they should start a Tour De Disneyland because I would enter Jim and he would win - with Lainey on her trailer bike. Sadly, we forgot to get a picture of them....

3. Gale force winds always make for good party. Gusts kept coming, sending everything and everyone flying. I think there were a couple incidents of people's pizza being picked up and blown into their face. We had to sing Jane's birthday song at light speed in hopes the little candles would stay lit for a mere second. Didn't happen. I also think there were more decorations spread across the park than on the bikes. Several people told Jevan they were disappointed that his wife would throw such an environmentally un-friendly party. I hung my head in shame, but on the bright side the birds will get to decorate their nest with lots of sparkly streamers...sometimes birds need a little bling, I always say...

4. The ever-amazing Andrea made the cake. Isn't it darling? Jevan's mom made the little biker Jane - the real Jane was actually wearing the exact outfit with her hair in pigtails! We had to keep watch over it during the party to protect it from little pokey fingers and fly by bits of the party blowing everywhere. Everyone liked eating it, but no one quite as much as Allie. NO ONE likes eating cake as much as Allie. In fact, if running the country involved lots of messy eating, I'd vote her in for president. She would be all about change - we could all run around wild with shaggy hair and eat 'till our tummies became little basketballs. Her foreign policy would involve everyone sharing their shoes and binkies with everyone else at all times. It would be a happy world. And maybe, just maybe, she too would be able to see Russia from her back yard.

5. A gaggle of kids on bikes playing kazoos. It cracked me up.

6. There were many times when Jane giggled in absolute pure joy. That definitely made the party for me.

(My sister-in-law, Beeca, made this for Jane..so cute!)

7. That night as we are brushing out her hair and getting ready for bed, Jane turns to me and says. "Mom, now I'm three. Someday I'll be ten and then I get to be a cow!" Wow. Keep those aspirations coming babe, even if they do involve bovine. A few minutes later she says again..."Mom, now I'm three....AFTER ALL!" said with an air of exasperation, like she is finally 3 after all she has had to put up with being 2 - like being 2 involved lots more than just learning sentences, potty training, and realizing that your little sister can be bribed if necessary - like it was the hardest year she has yet to go through. You did good, Jane. You made it through.

Jane rode her bike home from the party and as I walking behind her, I had one of those surreal moments when you can't believe this is your life, and the little girl, who is so big now, riding her first bike, is actually yours. Life is good to me and I am so lucky to have her.

Happy Birthday Janers! You are a clever, darling little thing that I absolutely adore.

I don't care who you are voting for...

2008-09-16T21:59:00.001-06:00

but this is funny:

Tina Fey sounds exactly like Sarah Palin. I giggled, and boys aren't supposed to giggle.

From Italy, with love

2008-09-16T20:53:00.004-06:00

I just got back from a little trip to Italy I did with Em's brother and some of his friends, and I started a blog as a way to help family members back home know what was going on and see some pictures of the places we'd been. In case anyone wants to take a peek, the url is http://geriatricgiro.blogspot.com.

In other news, Em is glad to have a husband home. I can't imagine why, I was only gone for 10 days. She's a complete and total rock-star and I'm incredibly lucky to have a wife that gives me the green light to go on a trip like this. I love you babe!

Yes, Em is a rock star. Now if only I could get her to wear this outfit...

Wrappin' up summer..

2008-08-28T15:24:00.000-06:00

So I am in a sad spot right now. We just came home from a trip to California and I realized it is the end of any and all planned trips, and pretty much the end of the summer. How did that happen? I know we have lots of warm weather still ahead of us, but all of our adventures are mostly over. I guess I have been pretty spoiled this summer, always having something to look forward to. All I have to look forward to is the ward campout (which we are in charge of so it makes it more work than fun) and in September, 10 days all alone while Jevan is out of the country. Bleh. I probably sound like such a whiner but I can't help myself. So to cheer me up, I'm posting a bunch of pictures from this month that make me happy.

My dear friend Elisa came into town a few weeks ago and we were able to spend time with her up at her ranch house in East Canyon. It was so fun to be with her, Marie and Marisa and all our little ones. We were quite the group. It was very chaotic but really fun.

Elisa & Nat

Jane sharing her many pairs of beloved sunglasses with Noah.

We made it to the pond!

The whole crew of kids..it was a miracle we got this shot.

Allison's "don't mess with me" face...

Jevan's summer work party up at Snowbird. Jane LOVED the alpine slide and riding up on the ski lift.

Have I mentioned Jane is obsessed with sunglasses?

Woohoo!

Doesn't get better than face painting and balloons...

A hike up near Alta in Albion Basin to see the wildflowers:

Allie the drunken hiker

Allison trying to keep up with Jane.

True trouble...

Giggle fit...

The flowers were really pretty but it's hard to tell in our pictures...

And finally, California. Last weekend we went to Newport Beach to Jevan's cousin Cameron's (the groom) wedding. Jane and Allison were flower girls, along with their cousins, Hazel and Chloe. We went with Jevan's sisters and had such a blast.

The reception was held in backyard in a town outside of Newport and it was a picture out of a fairytale, seriously one of the most amazing yards I have ever seen. It had a pool made to look like a mountain pool, complete with rock waterslide...a covered dance floor, a huge willow tree with tables and benches underneath, pathways through fruit trees, ponds with fish connected by a bridge, and even had a rabbit that made it's home there and nibbled at the grass at our feet from time to time. The huge attraction for the kids was an amazing playhouse - one that looked like a house down to the tiniest detail such as a doorbell, wooden shutters, mailbox and a working light on the outside by the door. Inside there was a complete little kitchen, living room with couches and a TV and a loft that several kids could sleep in. Needless to say, they stayed in there through the whole reception.

We also hit the beach while we were there and once again, the kids were in heaven. They played so hard, jumping in waves, building huge sand pits, even making pans of sand lasagna (we could not find beach toys ANYWHERE! Weird huh? We had to resort to buying kitchen utensils and pans for them to play with...). Jane loved spending time with her cousins and I had a great time with Jevan's family. We were all in the same hotel with rooms right next to each other and so at night, after the kids were in bed, we would play games until all hours. Such a fun trip!!

A rare moment when Allison wasn't running wild or busy being tired and angry.

Jane as a flower girl

Flower girls with Cameron's new bride. Hazel and Chloe, Jane and Allie's darling cousins, are on the right.
Crazy that these kids are cousins, huh?
In Jevan's family all the kids are either the "black hairs" or the "white hairs".

Allison checking out the amazing playhouse...

Beach day!!

Jane burying herself in the pit...

Jane and her cousin Calvin.They are only 3 weeks apart and together they are darling (most of the time :)).

My child, the pack rat

2008-08-25T15:34:00.004-06:00

Jane is starting to turn into a pack rat. She loves to make stashes of toys and books all over the house. Maybe she is preparing for a random toy shortage, or protecting her property from other scavengers (Allison?). Regardless the reason, it is starting to get annoying because I have to contort myself into all sorts of nooks and crannies all over the house just to find a certain toy or book. Here was what I found behind the big armchair in Allison's room this morning when I got out of the shower. What a nut. We should send her to live with the chipmunks.
Honestly, child.

She said it...

2008-08-18T22:56:00.002-06:00

So I came home from work tonight and Jane & Em had been making some zucchini bread. During the course of the chaos we like to call "a nice relaxing family meal", the timer on the oven went off. Jane was quite concerned about "her" bread, and Em was engaged trying to feed Allie some soup, so I jumped up and pulled the bread out.

A few minutes later Em noticed that the perfectly formed loaves that came out of the oven were looking more like the Grand Canyon than the picture on the recipe, and we soon concluded that they were severely undercooked. We put them back in the oven, knowing that they wouldn't re-inflate but at least they would be cooked. We showed Jane what happened, and when she asked who broke the bread I told her it was me. She looked at me and said in an exasperated tone "Dad, you aren't supposed to be cooking. You're not a mom yet." Who am I to argue? I hope she says the same thing about doing the dishes next time.

Out of the Ordinary

2008-08-12T21:14:00.007-06:00

So here's a little bit of a confession: I don't know if anyone else ever feels like this but sometimes when I am reading one of those blog posts about all the amazing things that person accomplished in one day (cook, craft, redecorate, and still find time to do something amazing with their kids) I either feel inspired or totally discouraged. Sometimes I think to myself, "What did I accomplish today? Let's see, I fed my kids, I switched the laundry from washer to dryer just before it started to take on that mildew smell, and...hmmm..oh yeah, scooped the dog poop in the backyard so the kids wouldn't step in it....(*sigh*)." Sad realization. I was talking about this with my sister in law one day and she said something simple but poignant. "Em, people only really blog their good days. No one blogs all their bad days...so of course it seems like their life is wonderfully productive all the time." Huh. I think people need to blog bad days so the rest of us don't feel like we are about as productive as a doorknob. So I've decided that I am going to start to blog some of my bad days. I don't want to pull the wool over anyone's eyes. Scooping poop is often the most productive thing I do in a day.

That being said, I actually had one of those "good" days yesterday with some stuff I wanted to share. I had to add the disclaimer above so everyone would know this is NOT my usual life. It probably is yours though....'cause all my friends and family ARE amazing to me.

So yesterday I had a cooking success and a crafting success in one day. Granted they were a little bit forced on me (what am I going to do with the herd of zucchini taking over my counter...and...what am I going to do for my Young Womens class activity tomorrow night?) but successes all the same.

First the cooking: Let me just say that I love my garden. There is something so fulfilling about going outside and picking your own food and then cooking with it. I don't know what it is but it really makes me smile. If you have ever thought of starting one, I highly recommend it. Don't think you can't do it. I was intimidated for the longest time but finally got a space ready and just threw stuff out...and it grew!!! I was amazed. I have zucchinis up the wazoo, yellow squash, green and red peppers, beans, swiss chard, basil, oregano, TONS of tomatoes and sweet tomatoes...and...hold on to your hats....cantalopes! Truly a miracle given that I had no idea what I was doing. I was inspired by my sister-in-law who is always making the yummiest stuff from her garden bounty and decided it was time I tried my hand at it. It has been so fun. Jane loves going out to pick things...although she usually gets distracted by the snails, all of which she wants to keep as pets. Yesterday she put one on her swing and pushed it back and forth for a while, asking if it was having a good time.

So as is common with zucchini, I am completely inundated with them at the moment. It has given me the chance to try out all kinds of different recipes. So far I have made zucchini bread, a zucchini and tomato casserole, and am thinking about making some zucchini brownies that my friend tried and said were pretty good. But the best recipe so far was one I tried yesterday and I wanted to post it because I think it is a real keeper. Honestly, SO good. And, suprisingly quick to make. It manages to be velvety and creamy without really any cream. I found it online and then tweeked it a bit so here is my version:

ZUCCHINI-BASIL SOUP

1 1/2 pounds zucchini coarsely chopped

1 medium to large onion, chopped

3 to 4 garlic cloves, chopped (depends on your garlic tolerance)

1/4 cup olive oil

1 and 1/2 t. salt

1/4 t. ground ginger

2 cups chicken broth

1 cup water

1/4 cup milk (optional...I added it)

1/2 cup packed basil leaves

Cook onion and half of your garlic in the olive oil in a 3 qt saucepan over medium-low heat, stirring occasionally until softened, about 5 minutes.

Add chopped zucchini and salt and cook, stirring occasionally, 5 minutes. Add chicken broth and water and simmer, partially covered, until tender, about 15 minutes.

Puree the zucchini with the basil and the rest of the garlic in 2 batches in a blender.

Season with with salt and pepper.

There you have it. See what you think. Next I am going to try a swiss chard dip my sister-in-law gave me.

So I have never been into crafts. I think it goes back to my Girls Camp days when I would watch the boys go on backpacking trips to the Uinta mountains and I was stuck making fabric heart wreaths. I just don't have the skills or attention span for them...although that is starting to change as I do more things...and since I have had Andrea (my Martha Stewart clone of a sister-in-law...although she is a lot nicer than Martha) in my life. Here's what I made yesterday for my Mia Maids to make and take to their secret ward grandparents. We filled them mini-chocolate chip cookies and they turned out so cute. You make them with printed cardstock scrapbook paper. Here's the website I used: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/370063/make_your_own_paper_box/
I figure it was a good little thing to learn because everyone has scrapbook paper lying around and you can make an impromptu gift box really easily. I was mostly surprised at how much fun I had making them.

Anyway, so there is a rare day in my life. Next time it will be about all the other days that go oh so wrong. And to Becca and Andrea...here's is what I hope you are saying right now..."You're doing it, Em. You're playing with us!"

Camping With Kids 101

2008-08-07T15:51:00.013-06:00

Here is what I learned during my first real camping trip with two toddlers (and our friends the Christensens) in Capitol Reef National Park.

1. Leaving late is a bad idea. You get to the campground at 11pm, try to set up a new tent the size of Texas, next try to blow up the HUGE air mattress (so big, folks, that it can be turned into couch so you can accept visitors to your tent with style......thanks Jimarie :)), and keep kids from screaming while dodging hurricanes of gnats swarming around your headlamp...trying to do all this QUIETLY so the neighboring campers don't come by and curse you out.

Yeah... that smile belies the lack of sleep...

2. Take friends that are not only kind and helpful but patient beyond belief. Ones that aren't afraid of tantrums, boogers, muddy hands, predatory animals, and putting your kids in time out FOR you. We took some like that, although I just threw in the predatory animals for good measure. I'm sure Tom could take down a bear if he needed to...or at least a large badger. (There WERE a lot of hungry-looking deer...)

Hanging out in the hammock w/ Sarah

3. When kids are camping, dirt suddenly becomes far more appealing to eat than food. Allie went to town on a nice red pile of dirt with her spoon.

Breakfast... and Em actually cooked bacon! We forced Allie to eat something other than dirt.

4. When camping with 18 mo. olds, always bring some sort of rope to tie them down to their beds at night. Otherwise, you watch helplessly as they wander around the tent like a drunkard for at least 30 minutes, bumping, falling, and colliding with everyone and everything until they collapse in an exhausted heap at your feet. And since they were yelling basically the whole time, you are again waiting for the neighbors to come curse you out.

Beware the midget camp monster.

5. Camp Hosts are not nice. For the longest time I have thought how fun it would be to be one of these when Jevan and I get old someday, spending a summer out in the great outdoors (can't you just see Jevan in his RV with a huge cable dish and a golf cart parked outside? Yeah, I know I'm dreaming..but a girl can dream, right?). Now I'm not so sure. I think in order to be considered for the job, you have to grow fangs and contort your face permanently into a gnarly scowl...and smell like smoke and vaseline. We got yelled at for not putting our money in their little box at midnight the first night, thinking we would do it in the morning. Like we make a living out of sneaking in and out of campgrounds without paying, totally unnoticed, with the aforementioned Texas-sized tent and two screaming kids. Honestly, people.

"Lovely day for a match, don't you think dear?"

6. When all else fails, bring out the Cheez-its.

"I will stand on this cooler and scream until SOMEONE gets me some food. Seriously."

7. It's nice to visit desert redrock places when there is a waterfall involved. Although we were already wet from the rain, it was nice to cool off in the big pool and let Jane and Allie build castles in the mud.

Making mud castles.

8. Waterfalls and speedos do not mix. Someone needs to tell this to our European visitors....bless their hearts. They also need to know that going up one size in the speedo so it doesn't climb up your behind is also a good idea.

This might seem like a silly picture of me, but may I please draw your attention to the Euro-cheeks in the background. Yes, my husband took a picture of another man's behind. Feel free to mock him.

Jumping Jane.

9. Never make tinfoil dinners any other way than how Tom & Sarah do it. Ohmigosh..they are so good. Your dinner may very well come out to weigh about 40 pounds and you will eat every bit of it. The secret is drowning your potatoes, carrots and meat in cream of mushroom soup and then putting a layer of wet newspaper in between the layers of tinfoil. So yummy.

Fwends.

LOOK AT THAT FARMER TAN!!! Jevan is hiding his.

10. For those of us who don't have DVD players in the car, make sure you have some good kid tunes. There's a guy named Steve Roslonek (he does Stevesongs on PBS now) that has some really cool songs, and I highly recommend you getting them. However, after 5 hours of them, even the most entertaining of children's music can start to sound like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Allie likes to bounce. A lot. Almost as much as eating dirt.

11. Take a breather once and a while and enjoy all those wonderful moments of curiosity and discovery as your kids experience the wonders of the natural world. I loved watching Jane and Allie chase bugs, pick juniper berries and wander after the deer in the campground. I have looked forward to this time my whole life - being able to take my kids to all the wonderful forests, deserts and mountains I visited as a kid. I hope to instill a love of the outdoors in my kids like my parents did for me. That means I have to be able to stop every 5 steps to check out the latest bug or funny shaped rock (which if they were anything out of the ordinary were always "seashells" to Jane) and stop worrying if I'm going to actually finish all 2 miles of the trail.

We were the coolest campers there. So cool, in fact, that a strange (and potentially European) couple came and stared at us for the entire time we were there. I think either they were really bored or we were just that interesting. Or they were alien vampires.

In the end, we all came home dusty, exhausted, happy and alive. For those reasons and simply because Jane asked the next morning when we were going camping again, I count the trip as a success.

What we see, and what Jane sees...

2008-07-22T23:00:00.008-06:00

The other night we went to an ice cream tasting party at my sister's house. Have you ever had avocado ice cream? Me neither... I don't much care for avocados. But apparently it was tasty, as were the other 4 flavors of homemade ice creams we sampled: Buttermilk Cherry, Blood Orange Sorbet, Lavender Honey, and some super-duper-weapons-grade chocolate. Very fun party idea!

As we were driving home Jane saw the Daybreak temple. She excitedly yelled out "Daddy, daddy look - a castle!" Em tells me they've had this discussion a lot, and then reminded Jane that it's a temple. So, for the next 10 minutes, every building we pass is a temple; a church (close), a rec center (not so close), Arctic Circle (definitely not). Then we drove past the Jordan River temple, which prompted the following exchange:

Jane: "Mommy, daddy, look! Another temple!!!"
Me: "You're right, Jane, that one is a temple."
Jane: "Yeah, and that one has a soap on it."
Me: "..."
Em: "What Jane?"
Jane: "That temple has a soap on top of it!"
Me (glancing at Em): "Huh?"
Em (shrugs): "That's nice, Jane."
Jane (frustrated): "See the soap on it?"

At this point, I finally realized that there was a fundamental difference between what she was seeing, and what we were seeing. You see, here is what I was seeing:

but here is what Jane was seeing:

It's all a matter of perspective, really. And a limited vocabulary.

While we're at it, here are a couple of other funny Janerisms:

- Referencing an apparently offensive geometric melon:

"This cantaloupe is a triangle and it's making me nervous!"

- Looking at some mushrooms growing in TBY (oh how I hates it):

"Look Mom, there are marshmallows growing up in the grass!"

Hawaii Adventures (part 2)

2008-07-21T14:36:00.026-06:00

Okay. So I just have to get the rest of our vacation recorded so I can move on. When you invested so much time and money into a trip, you feel a bigger responsibility to make sure you journal it..at least I do.

Kauai was breathtaking. I don't think there is a single square foot on that island that isn't beautiful in some way. It is full of fabulous hiking, waterfalls, deep and expansive canyons and green, green mountains. We did a little bit more relaxing on this island than on Maui - it wasn't a constant go go go 24/7.This was partially due to the fact that a lot of the really scenic areas require hiking and that can get tricky with a 1 and 2 year old.

The first day we hit Po'ipu beach and did some snorkeling. Jane and Alli got a big kick out of all the roosters running around. That's one of the things that I think is so funny about Hawaii - all their wild animals are actually farm animals - wild pigs, wild chickens, probably even wild cows...didn't ever meet one though. All the cousins buried themselves in the sand and Jane helped with her little bucket. Allie just ate more sand.

The next day we hiked to a little secluded beach on the Nepali Coast. We had Allie in the baby back pack and Jane rode on various shoulders. The beach had a little inland pool that was freshwater which made a perfect place for Allie to play. She went crazy in the water and eventually we had to strip her down to her birthday suit. She was in heaven. I was too until I had to hike her back out and it was so dang hot!! We rewarded ourselves with more shave ice in a little town nearby. Day 3 we took a little easier. We went to a beach in Kapa'a where we were staying that again, had a little bay without any waves. It made a perfect beach for the little ones. This one was really cool because the bay had fish it in but it never got more than 5 feet deep so we could carry Jane out and let her do a little snorkeling of her own with her goggles. This was also the day we discovered where we could get the VERY BEST fish tacos in all of Hawaii - they were sold out of the back of big orange van. Dang - they were good.

The next day was one of my very favorites. We went to Waimea Canyon, otherwise known as the Grand Canyon of the Pacific. It was so incredible - it really looked like a green, lush version of the Grand Canyon. We took a hike here as well, enjoying the canyon views and ending up at another waterfall that dropped off below you 100 feet. Jane made friends all along the way. All throughout the trip, she would say Hi to ANYONE within speaking distance and then ask them their name and age. It was really funny. The crazy thing is she would remember their names! During this hike, she met a man named Thomas who was fifty. They talked for a minute before he passed us on the trail. On the way back, hours later, we passed him again and Jane instantly called out to him, "Oh! Hi Tom!" He was really surprised and so were we. He got the biggest grin on his face...it was so cute. She was notorious for doing this at the pool as well and had all kinds of friends. Her favorite thing was to go over to the hot tub, stick her feet in the water, and chat it up with whoever was in it at the time. Once, while playing with her in the pool, a man walked in through the pool gate and she instantly yelled out "Hi Charlie!" He responded, "Hi Jane! How ya doing?" "Good". She then turned to me and said "Mom, do you know how old he is? He's firty free." Wow. Jane you are a nut. Anyway, random tangent....Waimea Canyon was incredible..the pictures don't do it justice. At one overlook I got tears in my eyes, feeling so grateful that God had created such a wonderful place and I was lucky enough to see it.

The rest of the trip consisted of more snorkeling and more beaches. One morning, my youngest brother and his sweet wife told us they would take our kids for half the day while we went snorkeling. It was so wonderful to be able to snorkel together for as long as we wanted. We really appreciated the time to just be alone too.

The last day was the highlight of our whole trip. We got up at 5 am to take an ultralight ride across Waimea Canyon and the Napali Coast. It was incredible. In case you may not know, an ultralight is basically a big hang glider with a propeller. Jevan and I each flew our own with an instructor. It was just the coolest feeling ever and the views were unbeatable. We saw beaches and coastline that are basically unreachable by land or boat and even were able to fly down close to a herd of dolphins, a huge school of tuna, and a bunch of sea turtles. If ever you go to Kauai, we strongly encourage you to do this (unless you get motion sickness or have a fear of heights...it might not go over so well for you). It is an experience you will never forget!

We had mixed feelings as we flew home - sad to leave such a wonderful vacation and at the same time excited to get back to our own space and to our own routines, to give our completely blitzed children naps and regular bedtimes. They really were exhausted by the end, with Jane a little bit out of control! All in all, it was fabulous and we feel lucky we were able to go for so long and spend quality time with my family. I love them.

Couple of Weeks in Paradise (part 1)

2008-07-10T15:30:00.010-06:00

Wow. Why does it seem like some weeks and months just sorta creep by, and then some whirl past you, leaving you dizzy and wondering who exactly is going to clean up from the freakin' tornado that just hit you in the head? I think my summer has been a little on the tornado side..maybe not quite that dramatic, but i don't ever feel like i recover before the next big event happens. The summer of constant....stuff. Needless to say, blogging has gone on the back burner for me. Hopefully, things are going to slow a little now.

Here's the post I started before I had to leave for Girls Camp...it's a little dated now that we have been back from Hawaii for a month, but I had to get something written down so I wouldn't forget things.

So, um, I kinda like Hawaii. I think Utah should adopt some of things about Hawaii that I really like, namely Plumeria bushes/trees (they give the air this glorious scent and they're everywhere!), the easy going drivers (you want to cut in front? hey, sure, go ahead... and aloha to you), Hawaiian Shave Ice (ice cream on the bottom, flavored ice and then topped with sweetened condensed milk - SO GOOD!)and the ocean. We need an ocean around here. One that has lots of sandy beaches....and pretty fish in it. Especially fish you can't pronounce like the humuhumunukunukuapua'a. Not a stinky lake. With stinky brine shrimp. Maybe I should go to talk to the Utah State Legislature 'bout it....HAH! They somehow can't even find funding for school supplies..I don't think they will help me much with my ocean.

So we've been back now for a couple weeks (edit: a month now) and I been purposely avoiding the computer because I was a little overwhelmed with the thought of jotting down TWO WEEKS of vacation. Made my head spin. But I have decided that no one really wants to read a long travel log anyway, right? ("And then we made a left turn at the beach, followed the road to a parking lot where we all got out of the car and walked to a Shave Ice stand where there was this nice, rosy cheeked man named Buddy with a Bob Marley Lives! shirt..") Ugh. Painful. In my family, we all have pretty short attention spans, and we're the ones who will be reading this years from now, so I'm going for highlights and just general funny things I want to remember. Thus, once again, I have put out the disclaimer that you certainly don't have to read beyond this point because someone else's vacation is never as exciting as your own.

WEEK 1: MAUI

First off, just for background, we went to Hawaii with my entire family - parents, brothers, sisters, and all the kids. Jane and Allison were in heaven having their cousins to play with 24/7. We stayed in Worldmark condos on Maui and Kauai. We were a group to be reckoned with - 24 strong. Many fled in fear.

If you are looking for an island with endless things to do, Maui is the one. We were going non-stop everyday, going on all kinds of adventures. First day, we hit the beach which was right across the street from us. This is how Jane and Allison did the beach pretty much the whole trip. Jane spent almost all her time with a bucket, running down to the waves, careful that they didn't get too close, filling up her bucket with water and dumping it into a hole her cousins dug for her. Over and over. I think she was sure that at some point, the water would actually stay in the hole and not just disappear into the sand. Allison basically spent her time trying to get sand into every possible crevice or orifice on her body that she could, even her mouth. She would trick you by playing up by you in the sand for a while until you started talking to someone and then she would make a break for the water and crawl (not steady on her feet well enough during week 1 but walking confidently by herself on the sand by week 2. Go Allie!) at mach speed for the water, straight into the waves. No fear. It was a bit tiring keeping track of her.

Over the next week we would alternate between beach, pool, and adventures. Here are our favorites:

The Road to Hana: Beautiful, windy (as in curvy, not air in a hurry) road that takes you all day to drive, with lots of places to stop and see cool stuff. Our rental car was a bright yellow/orange mustang convertible that we named Chester (after Chester Cheetah 'cause the car was the color of a Cheeto). It was fun to have on the drive (except Jevan and my nephews were in it pretty much the whole time...which was actually just fine because Jane was not a fan of the car and kept asking us to roll up the window when we put the top down). Things we saw: A bamboo forest, a black sand beach, a red sand beach and waterfall with places to jump off into a huge pool.

Snorkeling at the "Fish Bowl": After hiking about a mile over spiky lava rock, there is this fabulous secluded and enclosed bay with the most incredible display of fish. Our favorite was a trumpet fish that would change colors AND patterns according to it's surroundings.

Warren & Annabelle's Magic Show: So I know you usually think magic shows are just for kids, and a bit cheesy, but this one was amazing! Not only is the guy (Warren) an incredible magician, but also one of the best comedians I have heard in a long time. To help with his show, he picks 4 couples out beforehand and then has them sit up front. Imagine our excitement when we were actually chosen to be one of the couples! Once the show started we quickly learned that our purpose was not so much to help but to be continuously made fun of. It was really funny. He named the 4 guys after men in the Andy Griffith show. Jevan was Goober. So many funny stories here but suffice it to say that if you are going to Maui, we HIGHLY, HIGHLY recommend seeing this show.

Haleakala: One day we drove up to the summit of the Haleakala Crater which sits up at 10,000 feet above sea-level..and we're talking literally...you start at sea-level and drive a road which just switchbacks up to 10,000 feet. Views were spectacular. I loved that we were above clouds - at one spot you would look down off the mountain and all you would see was a sea of white. Definitely felt like we were on top of the world. We did some hiking and Jane actually fell dead asleep while riding on Jevan's shoulders. How she stayed on was anyone's guess.

Random: My wonderful sister-in-law (who was really the tour guide for the family - she is spunky and fun and we all just followed her around, poor thing) took us crab hunting one night. I think it was the highlight of Jane's trip. Crabs are all over the beach at night, so we all took our flashlights and caught us a few. Jane was fascinated and kept wanting to hold them. In fact, the first one we found she practically pounced on, trying to catch it by tickling it into submission. She talked about it for days.

The best of the rest: More sand, more ocean, more sand, more pool, more snorkeling, more boogie boarding, more shave ice, more sand, more ocean, more Hawaiian sunsets, more chocolate covered macadamia nuts..and some more chocolate covered macadamia nuts, except with toffee this time....mmmm....I think I gained 5 pounds on just those alone. Good times all around.

Favorite airport game: This consisted of Jane running around the corridors in the airport, stopping dead at random times, plopping down on her bum, and insisting we plop down with her. We would then click ourselves into an imaginary helicopter, being very careful to check and recheck the buckle. After taking off and landing in a manner of seconds, we would then get up and frantically run to the next helicopter before it flew off without us, heaven forbid. We spent SO much downtime doing this.....

The girls in general did really well and we had hardly any total meltdowns despite their complete exhaustion. We tried to fit in naps on some of the down days and that really helped. They were troopers. Oh, we cheated on the flight over though: we gave both girls benedryl. From this little experience, we found out two things:

Allie is a silly drunk. When she wasn't asleep, she sat and giggled at everything. Like her hand. Or her sippy cup. It was actually quite amusing.

Jane, on the other hand, is a rowdy drunk. Borderline belligerent. Alcohol took her normally aggressive, assertive, and outspoken personality and Incredible Hulked it.

Anyway, there is Maui in a nutshell. Stay tune next week for part 2, Kauai (I know the suspense is killing both of you........riiiiight).

Oh, and there's a bunch of pics in this little Flickr (guys, you forgot the 'e'...) gadget-thingy that Jevan was really excited about.

A shiny grill, a silly girl, and the tale of one thousand meatballs

2008-06-23T23:57:00.009-06:00

Once again, the thought of blogging about Hawaii has proved too daunting for Em and me, so that post will live for yet another week in the 'started but not published' realm until we get our act together. But just because we haven't told the story of the Aloha state doesn't mean life stops here now does it?

First off, it was Father's day on last Sunday, so to celebrate I got a new lawnmower (which I mentioned in my previous post) as well as a new grill. Technically, this is two father's day presents, however I will caveat this fact by saying that:

A lawnmower is a lame gift, if that's all you get. That would be like me giving Em a new dishwasher for Christmas or her birthday. Sure, it's useful, and I guess it makes life a bit easier, but really... is that the kind of present you really want?
The lawnmower wasn't really a gift, it was more of a necessity.
I was supposed to get a grill for last Father's day, but I had recently dismantled our old deck and had yet to build the new one so there really wasn't a spot for said new grill.
I didn't actually get around to building the deck until October (a fact that I get reminded of every time I mention the next big money-saving project I want to do...), which meant there wasn't really time to grill last year anyway.

So, you see, one of the "gifts" wasn't a gift and the other was really just a rollover. Now that I think about it, I deserve something for this year! I'm going to buy some golf clubs. Anyway, I got a new grill and, for the first time in over 7 years of married life, Em and I ate steak. Big, juicy New York Strip steaks. It was wonderful.

Nice and shiny grill in the background

Then, on Saturday (nothing ever really happens during the week), we went with some friends (Jim & Marie and Dave & Marisa - note the distinct lack of a hyperlink for the latter as they have yet to jump on the blogging bandwagon) to the Swedish festival. I discovered a few things from this little adventure:

I'm digging the numbered lists today.
There is a Swedish festival in Utah, which is attended by a rather surprising number of Swedish people that apparently live in Utah.
There are some International Peace Gardens in Salt Lake City. It is actually really pretty and would be a cool place to take some pictures one night.
Sure, they look and cute and cuddly now...

When a friend asks you if, on the night you normally have a dinner without kids, you could take the kids for a relaxing evening of fun and games at the park, remind yourself that right now there is no such thing as a relaxing evening of fun and games at the park with kids. It's just not possible.
... but the minute you turn your back they are off doing things like this!

Don't ever get into a grass fight with little girls. It's definitely a losing proposition. Especially ones that are clever enough to use their hat as a grass repository, kicking of a nuclear clippings arm race that we haven't seen since the likes of Khrushchev and Reagan in the 80's. On a positive note, the grounds keeper won't need to mow that particular patch of lawn for a good 3 months. Unless it rains a lot and he goes to Hawaii...
Pay close attention to the background... and the hat full of grass!!!

It is absolutely impossible to eat over 1,000 meatballs in a single sitting. Ain't happening. I now know this from experience. I think that between Dave and I there were at least 7 whole cows that died for those gravy-coated beef spheres that we consumed. After our unsuccessful attempt, we both curled up in the fetal position in a meatball-induced coma. I have yet to recover. Jim, however, wasn't phased at all (and he even sucked the gravy off of all of Laine's meatballs!!!), but then again he went to Sweden on his mission so he has a built-in tolerance. At least that's what I am telling myself.

Need to add in the random Jane quote: She has started saying the prayer on the food, and kind of takes the standard phrases and mashes them all together. Right now, she says "Heavenly father, we're thankful for the special of the day, make it healthy, amen." Tonight it was Macaroni au Fromage avec Hot Dogs (finally, my high school French is paying off!).

Finally (and my apologies for being so long-winded; I blame Sweden), for family night we were putting together a package tonight for my little sister Tasha who's living away from home right now. As part of the package, we drew some pictures on a pillowcase for her to use. Jane had to do her own drawings, and she would then dictate to Em what they were. I had to take pictures because, well... see for yourself. There's no way to describe it. And keep in mind, Em did NO coaching whatsoever when getting descriptions of these things.

I could tell right away that was an octopus...

... and just looking at that made me think of Supersonic...

... but I started to get a bit lost here...

... and quite frankly, even with the helpful translation I had a hard time seeing a boat here.

Hargensplorgenbreegenmeingen... which in Swedish means either "It's 1:45 and I need to go bed" or "Why on earth am I dressed like this???"

Hargensplorgenbreegenmeingen?