The scariest 4th of July ever!

When it comes to holidays, the word "scary" is usually reserved for Halloween. But my 4th of July warranted the word this year. Not because there were men with chainsaws hiding in the bushes or creepy creatures coming out during the fireworks....no, no, here is the face that gave me the scare of my life:



Yes, she looks innocent enough (sort-of....she actually looks like she's about to go hang with her homies...) but she was the source of my complete and utter panic that day.

The day started out fabulous. We spent most of the later afternoon and evening at Sugarhouse Park with Jevan's family waiting for the fireworks to begin. It's a tradition with Jevan's family and we always secure a sweet spot on the hill.

Just at dusk, at that point where you can still somewhat see but colors become muted and it's harder to distinguish things, I was talking to my sister-in-law, keeping an eye on my kids like mothers sometimes do...kind-of a "I am mostly aware of where they are even though they are just barely in my peripheral vision" type of vigilance. Or maybe I should not put any other mothers into that category because that is just my own lack of protective parenting. Anyway, for some reason, it halfway registered in my peripheral vision that Jevan had Allie and was paying attention to where she was going. Apparently, he was thinking the same thing of me. You can tell where this is going, huh?

All of the sudden, in mid-sentence, the alarm bells started ringing in my head (mine are a little bit sluggish and unreliable I've decided. Time for new bells. I think I should get a new set with each kid....) and I blurted out: "Um...where's Allie?" I yelled over to Jevan and he gave me the blank stare. Ohhhh boy. She's just got to be around here somewhere.

After a quick 10 second check, we could tell that the scene was all to calm and serene for Allie to be anywhere in the near vicinity. I glanced frantically around at the neighbors around us, in hopes of finding her scavenging around looking for "treats", but she wasn't anywhere around.

I took a long look at the hillside COVERED completely in HUNDREDS of people and... the panic set it in. My stomach dropped out, tears started to form at the edges of my eyes, and I started praying. The main reason for such panic was that it was basically dark at this point. I couldn't tell who anyone was, let alone my little child toddling through the mass of people.

Jevan's family was great and immediately fanned themselves out across the hillside. I took a wild guess and hoped Allie had headed up the hill, going for the top. I called out for her frantically and a few people said they had seen her, so I followed a trail of pointing fingers, the tears growing stronger for each second that passed. Where could she have gone? Why did she have to move so fast? Why wasn't I paying better attention? Why? Why?

After about 3 minutes, which honestly felt like the longest 3 minutes of my entire life, I spotted her. She was standing right by a car parked on the road, pointing and telling anyone who would listen that she found a car. She was literally feet from an extremely busy road and could have stepped out from the side of the parked car at any moment into on coming traffic. I ran and swept her up in my arms and started crying. I had never felt such relief. Every tense moment flooded from me in a rush of emotion. I held her so tight that I probably squeezed all the air out of her.

I notified all the searchers and everyone returned, greatly relieved that she had been found. The rest of the evening was great - the fireworks spectacular...but I had a tough time enjoying it with all the mommy guilt I was carrying. It was a good learning experience though...or rather, it basically just solidified a rule I already knew - never take your eyes off Allie.

So that's the story. I probably shouldn't publicly admit to being such a negligent mother. No one will ever leave their kids with me again. But I guess such an experience was something I needed to write down because I had never experienced true fear until I had thought I had lost a child. You realize how much you love these little crazy creatures.

A couple pictures from the day:

Jane and Jevan playing some soccer.

Jane and her cousin Calvin.