Monday, February 25, 2008

Bedtime Battles

So Jane has started to have nightmares. Well, I'm sure she's had nightmares before, but now she is able to tell us about them, and let me tell you, they sure freak me out. The past couple of weeks we have been awakened many times by Jane screaming hysterically in her bedroom. Each time, she tells us about the Scary Blue Monkey that comes in her room. The freakiest Blue Monkey encounter was the time she said it came in and started eating her back. "It go like this.." and then she takes her hands and begins to frantically shovel handfuls of imaginary Jane flesh into her mouth, while making wolfing noises. Freaky huh? I googled Scary Blue Monkey and this is what I found. I would wake up screaming too, poor girl.

We have other bedtime battles as well. Jane has suddenly decided that she wants me and ONLY me to put her to bed at night. We're talking all out tantrums. Tonight, I told Jevan he had to put her to bed even if she put up a fight because I didn't want to give into her behavior. She yelled and cried through almost all of the bedtime routine - over 45 minutes. Yikes! What do we do? Anyone else run into this? Is this a phase and I just put her to bed for a while or do we stick to our guns? It's an every night battle and we want to pull our hair out! Crazy kid. I can tell it hurts Jevan's feelings too.

So, around here, we are doing battle with either a Blue Monkey or Child Screaming Until She is Blue in the Face. Given the choice, I pick.... Greenland.

8 comments:

Megan said...

I don't know about nightmares, but my kids have had night terrors (screaming hysterically and unable to wake them out of it) and I can usually associate it with sleep deprivation. Poor girl!

Windybrook Spinner said...

Hey, very glad to be one of your two readers! I wish I had some help for you. Scary monkey, especially the eating-her part. Did she see some weird tv show? Strange. She must just have a very vivid imagination. =) As to only wanting you to put her to bed, Emmie is often like that about random things. At least Jane is consistent! I think Mark feels bad, but is relieved sometimes too. We don't force the issue. We're too tired! I just help her. I think force of any kind is dangerous. It creates very negative feelings for all involved, but you have to do what you feel is right. You have to decide what hills you want to die on and let the other things go. Try to figure out why she is acting like that. Maybe she is just in a stage where she needs more female help? Attempts at understanding and pleas for heavenly inspiration are your best tools. She has reasons for her actions even if they don't seem particularly logical. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

That is a freaky monkey. Poor Jane. Anna doesn't have nightmares often at all, but she did have one a few months ago and came in our room in the middle of the night crying. She said, "Mom, I had a scarey dream that your and daddy's head's blew up." Usually I'm a stickler for not letting her sleep in our bed, but that night I gave in. As for Jane only wanting you, I'm with you to not give in. I do feel bad for Bart having to endure her fits, but frankly, she throws fits when I try to make her brush her teeth anyway. So I figure it needs to be spread b/w two people. Hang in there.

Unknown said...

the easy way to not have to give in and not have to fight (about putting her to bed) is to remove the choice all together. looks like we need a girls night out right around bed time emily! if you're simply not there, you sure can't put her to bed, can you? hence, not an issue. that's what I think based on my 1x/week conveniently not home at bedtime schedule. it's super.

Anonymous said...

You know, Marie, that your solution totally ignores the victim in all this: ME! ;) I think the idea of a weekly girl's night out is great. However, I seem to remember once upon a time you and Jim had the same issue with Laney. How did you solve it?

Paige said...

That is a scary monkey! M has nightmares too about lions and strangers in his room, but nothing as vivid and graphic as Jane's! poor thing. I hope you can get the bedtime issues worked out soon.

Diane McAffee said...

Emily,
Perhaps you could try a little bedtime routine togetherness that may help. Snuggle Jane on your laps and take turns reading sentences in her night time story book, or sing bed time songs together. Just an idea.

Unknown said...

jevan - please forgive my neglect at not acknowledging how terribly difficult this situation must be for you. bravo for just hanging in there, you brave and poor soul. I hear there's a victim support group, just for dads, if you want to go.

but to your question: besides just not being there to put her down EVERY TIME, I think she just grew out of it, and honestly, I don't think it really took that long. we frequently let lainey choose (when possible) who she wants to brush her teeth, read her stories, help her get into her jammies, whatever, and we frequently do it all together, so regardless of which one of us is doing this or that, we're both there and engaged and involved. not always what you feel like doing after a long hard day, but I think it can be a really supportive and nurturing experience for the kids before they go to sleep. (is it possible that jane's nightmares have anything to do with bedtime conflict? jevan - do you have a scary blue monkey suit??)