Saturday, June 14, 2008

What do you get when...

... you go out of town for a couple of weeks with the following conditions:

1) You just laid new sod,
2) You just dumped enough fertilizer on it to resurrect any pets that may have been buried in your yard somewhere,
3) You spent multiple hours fixing the #$%^ sprinklers (Yes, I HATE the sprinklers),
4) Mother Nature decided to play a practical joke and sent record amounts of rain over said 2 weeks, and
5) In your rush to get ready to go and finish up 1 - 3 you kind of sort of neglected to get someone to mow the lawn for you when you were gone?

Yeah... not that I KNOW anything about this, but, um, I bet it would look something like this:

Pay close attention to the rare tropical "Hairylegdelion" that started growing as well.

Ok, so that is my leg, and the grass is up to my calf. I spent about 4 hours mowing on Saturday and filled our entire garbage can as well as 9 bags of clippings.

A big Hawaii post is coming in the next couple of days, but suffice it to say that it was amazing and we a blast! In the interim, I have to talk about what an awesome wife I have. She swam/ran/biked an Olympic triathlon today, 3 days after getting back from the trip and still barely emerging from a macadamia-nut induced vacation coma. Here's the victory pose:


Finished! Em, is the champion...

She finished the race in 2:55 minutes, which is about 3 hours faster than I would have finished if I were even half as tough as she is. I gave her a special trophy:


This is the booty prize. It's a doll leg in thigh-high fishnet stockings that
I found on the ground. I didn't say it was supposed to make sense...

On a side note: Not that I know much about these things (seems far too 'exercisy' to me...), but at the finish line there was water and... pizza. Seriously, like 100 Pizza Hut pizzas. Is that really the kind of food a person craves after doing a triathlon? Why not KFC? Someone please explain this choice of food to me.

12 comments:

Unknown said...

okay, so I'm fluctuating between complete awe (holy smokes! you're amazing!) and rage (I HATE YOU! how are you so amazing?) and to top it all off, on both counts, you're smiling in those post-triathlon pictures. SICK. not even like fall-down-dead-tired-hurry-up-and-take the-dumb-picture kind of smile, but like hey-that-was-so-fun-how-about- another-triathlon-right-after-I-eat- my-pizza kind of smile. SERIOUSLY! maybe there's something in the water out there in Sandy that makes grass grow like jungles and makes emilys turn into SUPER-emilys? can I have some too? (jim says and Jevans turn into hairy leg jevans)

jim said...

emily strikes me at the sort of awesome woman that makes other women who may or may not be awesome cry on monther's day because they are not awesome as she is awesome

Annie said...

Right on woman! You rock! Glad to hear you guys had fun on your trip. I'm trying my best not to be jealous........it's not working out very well. Oh, and congrats on the new church calling. Gotta love young womens!

Floyd Family said...

All I can say is WOW... Someday I want to do something great like that....and on top of it, you get a husband who mows the lawn. What a life!

McKelle said...

Jevan, do you want to come over and redo my backyard? Nice grass. I must say, your wife is much cooler and tougher than me. My idea of exercise is anything that doesn't include eating food.

Giving In Blogger said...

Yay Emily!!! I can't believe (well, actually I can) that you did so awesome, and that you did the Olympic distance! Good job to you! I've never asked you, have you done a tri before? Do you have any tips for Bart and me? We're doing ours on Saturday!

Next, at first I thought that was Emily writing this post, so can I just say phew! I was starting to worry that that was Em's hairy leg. ;) Glad it was you, Jevan!

Giving In Blogger said...

Now we are stalking your blog. (Bart this time). I must say that Emily is nigh untouchable on the toughness scale. I just wheezed out 2.5 miles before the Celtics-Lakers game, and I thought I would have to call in a body bag. I can picture you, Jevan, having to ask Emily to go back to the finish line because your mouth was stuffed with pizza and missed the picture op. I'd be right there with a slice too.

So when we see you next will you be wearing your hair in a Euro lunchlady hair net? Should I just start calling you Jevan Woojacic?

We love reading your blog, and its great to hear your quirky sense of humor!

Jevan said...

Marie - Please, feel free to come and drink the water, but know that the leg in the picture is Emily's, not mine.

Jim - There's no crying on mother's day.

Annie - So much for the church taking it easy on young mothers! :) You did a great job on Sunday on such short notice.

Amanda - The only reason I mowed the lawn is because all the neighborhood kids laughed at me when I asked them to mow the jungle.

McKelle - I subscribe to the same exercise plan. If I don't eat a big bowl of ice cream, it's pretty much the same thing as going for a run and eating the bowl of ice cream. It's a zero-sum diet.

KayLyn - See the respone to Marie. It is Em's leg. And you'll do great in your triathlon.

Bart - No to the hairnet, but I kind of like the Woojacic. I figure there's a place for an undersized (6'4") power forward in the NBA who can't really shoot, jump, run, pass, rebound, or defend, but is a great cheerleader and jumps up and down a lot on the bench when the real players are doing well (see Scalabrine, Brian & Mihm, Chris). And excellent Karate Kid reference; well done. :)

McKelle said...

My husband Morgan started to run again. He knows better than to invite me to go. Running isn't my idea of fun. Our house is in Cottonwood Heights (off of 2300 east and 6700 south). We really like it.

Windybrook Spinner said...

Go Emily! Oh, and go Jevan too. That grass looks like it was pretty intimidating.

Anonymous said...

Em, you amaze me! How in the world do you find time?? Let alone enjoy it? I wish I had the desire that you have! Great job! Details for your training schedule would be appreciated.

Emily said...

Wow. Thanks everyone. I am definately not as cool as all that. You could all do what I did, but you are lucky enough to have a lot more common sense! I had all kinds of moments where I went from "I can do this!" to "Why in the world am I doing this? Why do I hate myself? I am most definately insane..but I bought this nice biker/runner shorts so I guess I should keep going..." And Petra, sadly my training schedule was/is basically fit in whatever you can whenever you can. I tried to run in the mornings and if I got up early enough, I would squeeze a swim in too. Biking? Um..I think I biked twice before the race. Probably explains why I felt like I was running on legs that felt like tree stumps.